Downhill From Here
by Mikkal
Summary: The guys are riding horses and video taping it to show their fans they're just like them-Griffin's choice. But what happens when a jealous stable hand gets the better of Logan's horse? Logan is injured, he and Carlos are alone in the woods. At night.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

* * *

><p>Down Hill From Here<p>

Chapter 1

Mikkal

* * *

><p>The three of them stared at the beasts before them, eyes wide and second thoughts racing through their minds. He gulped when the horse he was supposed to ride pawed at the ground with a huge hoof, snorting wildly.<p>

Kendall was _not _a horseback rider, neither were Carlos and James, so this horse looked like he was the size of the Empire State Building. He couldn't imagine getting into that…saddle…and telling the animal what to do. He didn't think _anything _could tell that huge animal what to do.

Laughter interrupted his troubling thoughts and made him shake his sight away from the horse to see Logan already on a pretty (he had to admit that) black horse.

"Don't worry, guys." The smaller boy, who was currently taller than all of them since he was mounted. "They're not goin' to bite."

James scoffed. "You say that now, but I've heard tons of stories about killer horses. I am _not _getting on that thing!"

The bay that was assigned to James pranced in place, tossing her head at being called a "thing."

Chocolate brown eyes rolled. "Killer horses don't exist. Just get on before Gustavo get's ticked."

Carlos, surprisingly enough, was the first one to scramble into the English saddle of his Paint mare, he fumbled with his stirrups and reins for a moments before settling down. "I still don't get why we have to do this. I mean, the fans already know we're regular people just like them."

"I have no idea." The pale teen grinned. "At least this is all we have to do, plus take a few videos. It'll be easy."

"'Easy' he says," James muttered, running his fingers through his hair. "Easy for a guy who use to live on the back of a horse!"

Logan laughed. "It's not _that_ easy for me. I've never ridden English before. In Texas we rode Western most of the time."

"It's still horseback riding," Kendall pointed out. He finally got the courage to mount his dune colored gelding and pulled up next to Logan's horse. "And you're here to make sure nothing goes wrong."

He nodded, tugging a little on his reins as his horse tried to reach out and grab some grass. "Not now buddy." The black horse whinnied and laid his ears back in displeasure. Logan frowned at the reaction. "What's wrong?"

Of course the animal didn't answer.

"Okay, guys," the woman lending them horses said in a stern glare with an even sterner voice. "Don't go too far and try not to try anything dangerous. Stay at a walk, don't trot unless Logan says it's okay." She pinned her green eyes on the smart one.

He gave her a mock salute. "Gotcha, Mrs. Aragón . I'll make sure everything goes smoothly."

She shook her head. "If you guys screw this up, all that money Mr. Rocque paid will _not _be worth it." A dirt covered hand patted Carlos' horse on the neck. "Don't ruin my babies."

"Don't worry Cat," Kendall assured her. "Nothing can go wrong if Logan's makin' sure we don't mess up." He flashed the pink blushed boy a smirk, he knew that compliment would get him embarrassed.

"Good." She nodded before heading back to the stable to give a lesson. She was told great things about Logan Mitchell by both his boss and his assistant and his guardian here in LA, she trusted him enough to keep her babies safe. "Michael!" Cat shouted for her stable hand. A early-twenties man appeared from the loft. "Make sure Big Time Rush goes down the right trail!"

Michael nodded and watched her go to the outdoor ring, but all he did was turn around and head back into the hay loft.

* * *

><p>"Guys," Logan called. He had let the others take the lead, fully intending on him being needed in the back and let Kendall take his natural place as the leader. "I don't think we're on the right trail."<p>

"What do ya mean?" Carlos asked, his horse freaked when he pulled on the reins to turn around.

"Eyes forward," the older boy commanded. He sighed. "Mrs. Aragón said there was a river on this trail where we could have lunch, we should have reached it by now."

James laughed. "Don't worry, Logie. We're probably going slower than you thought, we'll reach it soon."

"I don't know," he whispered under his breath. He was getting kind of worried, they were getting farther and father away from the stable and even though they _were _going slow and had stopped a few time to take a few videos they weren't going slow enough not to reach the river by now.

Not to mention, his mount was acting very weird. Flinching at the slightest touch, maybe he needed to get his teeth floated (or filed down), and prancing when he shouldn't. Logan never said a word though, figuring it to be something in the air that was making the horse act this way.

"Whoa!" Kendall's surprised voice wafted towards him, along with the shriek from his horse. Up ahead the dune horse reared a bit and backed up, running into James' horse.

"What is it?" Logan yelled, already trying to control his own horse. "Hold on!"

"Snake!" James shouted. He pulled way too hard on his horse's mouth, making her back up with it so she wouldn't be in pain.

The pale boy bit his lip. "Just try to stay calm, they're just a little spooked."

But just as he said that James' bay backed into Carlos' Paint, who then backed up into the already irritated horse of Logan's. He reached out to bite the rump of the horse in front of him but Logan pulled him back.

His ears went flat again and he reared, screaming. There was a moment were everything slowed, and then the black horse took off, streaking pass the other three and into a side trail that was reserved for more advanced riders.

Logan held on for dear life, barely keeping a grip on the reins as he grabbed both saddle and mane to keep himself on. Trees flashed passed him, making him sick so he kept his eyes forward, steering his horse the best he could around obstacles.

That seemed to make things even worse, the animal jerked his head up and he took a sharp turn even sharper than he should. The teen felt weightless as he went airborne for a few seconds before he slammed into a tree and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 2

Mikkal

* * *

><p>If he could Carlos would scream in fear as his horse took after Logan's, it must have been that herd thing the pale teen had sprouted out earlier on the way here. The speed was frightening, not use to going this fast when he wasn't in a car...or a roller coaster.<p>

He held the reins in a death grip, trying hard not to pull too harshly on them but at the same time keep himself on the fast moving animal.

The Latino was perfectly fine waiting for his horse to tired out, but when he saw Logan fly into the air and his black horse freeze, Carlos pulled back as smoothly as he could to stop the Paint. She slid stopping right next to the knocked out teen and he scrambled out of the saddle.

Not even a second later the black horse snickered and they both took off. He watched them go in shock.

But one look at the even paler than normal teen made all of those thoughts fly out of his mind as he crouched down next to him.

"Logan?" He touched a shoulder and immediately took it away, the heat coming off the joint was not good. "Come on, Logan. I need you to wake up."

Logan squeezed his eyes tighter together before they squinted open. "Carlos?" He groaned. "What's goin' on?"

"I-I don't know. I think you fell off." He was starting to get even more worried as Logan slurred some of his words together.

He pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ward off the headache coming. "I think so too. I think I also hit a tree, my back is killing me."

His eyebrows raised high into his hairline. "What—What about your shoulder?"

"My shoulder?" Logan shifted and moaned in pain, an unwanted whimper escaping through his clenched lips. "Ye-Yeah, my shoulder." He looked up at his friends with pain glazed eyes. "How far away are we from the guys?"

Carlos fiddled with his helmet's strap. "I don't know. I wasn't paying attention." And now he wished he did. Now he was in the middle of nowhere with an injured Logan, who could possibly be the only one who knew what to do, and, not to mention, they had no idea where James and Kendall where, and their horses were gone.

Wow, the day went down hill so fast.

His thoughts were interrupted by another soft moan from his friend. He placed a hand on his forehead, feeling how clammy it was getting. Worry began to form in his stomach, and it wanted to make it's way to his chest but he forced it down.

Now was not the time to panic, panicking would just make things worse.

"Carlos," he groaned. "Help me take off my shirt."

"What? Why?" This was not helping the "not-panicking." "What'll that do?"

Logan sent him an exasperated look through the pain spiking in his arm, throbbing in his back, and beating an annoying tune in his head (it sounded suspiciously like Boyfriend). "I need to check the damage. I don't think it's broken, probably only dislocated or maybe just bruised."

"Oh." He drew a mind blank, but went into actions a nano second later. He tugged on the sleeve off Logan's uninjured right shoulder first and pulled it out before carefully doing the same to his left one.

The older teen still sobbed a little, despite the gentleness Carlos was exhibiting. It hurt, it hurt so much.

"It's okay Logie." He tried to sooth him, but he didn't even believe it himself. He'd never seen him so...broken, wasn't the right word to use probably but it was the only one he could think of.

He gasped at the sight of his already swollen shoulder, the color a blossoming blue and purple. The injury traveled a little up his neck, down his arm, and across his chest to under his white tank top.

Logan gave him a strained smile. "Well, it's not dislocated."

"It's not?" But...it _looked _like it was. It looked painful.

He shook his head the best he could. "No, more like sprained. It should heal pretty quickly," he winced, "but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

"What about your back?"

"Trust me, that hurts too." More than he could put into words, but less than his shoulder. And the throbbing in his head was beginning to die down to a dull ache.

* * *

><p>She was just running a curry comb through her horse's coat when the black horse and the Paint she swore Logan and Carlos were riding stampeded into the stable. Cat dropped the brush and rushed to calm them down, her husband just seconds behind her.<p>

"Whoa!"

The black one dodged her lunge but he wasn't quick enough. She gather his flying reins and pulled him down from his half rear. "Where are your riders?"

He pranced in place and laid his ears back, teeth baring in a horse snarl. "What's your problem, buddy boy?"

"Cat!" Andres yelled.

She turned towards he husband and saw he was pointing out near the trails, Kendall and James were trotting out at the quickest pace a trot could go without going into a canter (though, they probably didn't know that).

"What are you guys doing?" She tossed the reins to Andres then headed out to give those guys a piece of her mind.

"Logan's horse took off," James burst out before she could say (yell) anything else. "And Carlos' followed, we looked but we couldn't find them."

"Then we saw their horses head this way and we thought they were on them," Kendall jumped in. "When they weren't we thought we'd follow them and see if you could help us find them."

She put her hands on her hips. "And what made Logan's horse take off?" She understood Carlos', a horse followed another horse, most of the time no matter what.

The pretty boy shrugged. "There was snake and a small pile up but Logan's was the only one who went freaky."

"Cat!" Andres called again, running out of the stable with a bridle in hand. "We've gotta problem."

She took the tack and inspected closely to silence of the boys. "This isn't Castiel's bridal," she growled then muttered something not too pleasant in Spanish. "This is Tessa's."

"Castiel?"

"The black horse Logan was riding." She never actually told them their horses' names...oops. "If the horse has the wrong bit," she explained, pointing out the metal bit for their sake. "Then it hurts their mouths, a lot. They tend to be really angry and lash out. Which is what happened to Logan."

"Who tacked up Cas?" Andres asked.

She thought about it for a moment before a growl escaped her lips. "Michael."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 3

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Logan shivered as the cold air of night blew in. Carlos had long ago pulled him into his lap for warmth and put his shirt back on, but there was only so much he could do.<p>

He ran his fingers through raven locks, trying so hard not to start chewing on his lip. Logan was the big time lip chewer, not him and he didn't want to have Kendall and James worry about him too.

But...he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how far away from the stable they where and with Logan's injuries he didn't want to take the chance of hurting him even more. Even though the older boy was wearing a helmet he still hit his head pretty hard and his back had absolutely no protection what-so-ever, and, not to mention, his arm.

"Hey!" Carlos tapped Logan's cheek as the other boy began to close his eyes. They fluttered open and glared at him slightly dazed. "You know the drill, you've gotta stay awake."

"Th't's not cool," he slurred.

The Latino winced. Logan was sounding worse and worse, they needed help before anything went even more down hill. "Logan, focus. Where do you think we are? How far is the stable?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, concentrating more than he usually would. "We're...we're re'lly far aw'y. And...I dunno. I th'nk we're on a...a a'vance trail." His vision fuzzed, he blinked slowly. "I d'n't know h'w far..."

Oh man, he could barely understand him. That wasn't good.

Carlos felt the pale, clammy head. "What should we do?"

It was probably a bad idea to ask the guy who had a concussion, but he had to keep him talking. Talking was good, talking was what Kendall made him do every time he got hurt on the ice...until the guys made him wear a helmet all the time.

People called Logan the clumsy one but that's because Carlos always wore the helmet so every time he tripped or fell there wasn't proof 'cause he always had something to protect him.

Logan squeezed his eyes shut. He shivered again harshly, his trembling increasing with every minute. "We should...we need...to start...moving." He was speaking slowly and deliberately, but he wasn't slurring his words anymore. It was like he was doing it so his friend could understand him, once again thinking about others than himself.

Carlos tapped his cheek again to wake him. "Are you sure? Are you up to it?"

The older boy shook his head ever so slightly. "Not...really...but we...should...move any...way."

He hesitated, but the look Logan gave him spurred him on. There was no denying Logan when he gave you that look. The one that said his logic, his reasoning, over came everything and if it was ignored then there were dire consequences for the ignorer. Never mind the ignoreé would probably end up getting hurt...or more hurt in this case.

"Okay, okay." Carlos sat him up.

"Stop!" Logan groaned and held his head with his uninjured arm. "Too f'st." His face tinged a green color.

"Sorry!" He panicked. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok'y." His face paled back to white, too white. "Just...keep...going."

The younger teen nodded and stood up, _slowly _pulling Logan's arm around his shoulder. He helped up the wobbly older teen, letting him lean against him heavily.

"Are you sure you're sure?" Carlos asked. Because he wasn't so sure about this.

"...Again...no." Logan took a pathetic step forward, almost collapsing when pain spiked in his back. "But...we should...go, it's...getting dark."

He nodded. "Okay." He shifted to the older teen was more secure. "Ready?"

"Just...go." He gripped the tanner wrist to stop him before he did anything. "Slowly."

Carlos nodded again. He started down the trail, going in the same direction the horses came through just hours before.

* * *

><p>"Why did you do it, Mike?" Andres asked.<p>

Michael eyed him warily then turned those wary eyes to Cat and Kendall being held back by James and Andres. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't?" Kendall shouted. "You wanna tell us the truth before the police get here? 'Cause I hear they can get really nasty when celebrities are in trouble."

"You guys are _not _celebrities," Michael spat out. "I should have the record deal you have. I met up with Gustavo Rocque long before you idiots did, but he turned me away. Me! I didn't have the right things to "set his fire" with."

Cat pushed James away. "Do you know how badly you could've hurt my babies? Especially Cas? I'm gonna show him next week, this was his one day to just be relaxed for the next two weeks."

"No offense, Catalina," Andres pushed in. "The boys, the _missing _boys are the ones we have to worry about. Mike, what trail did they go down? I know Cat told you to make sure they went down a beginner trail, but they didn't, did they?"

Michael smirked. "No they didn't And my plan worked: Cas freaks 'cause of the wrong bit, another horse follows, and now both riders are nowhere to be seen."

"What did that accomplish?" James asked, still trying to wrap his mind around on how a person could do something like this.

The man shrugged. "Personal satisfaction," he said smugly. The hair on the back of their necks standing up.

Kendall punched him dead in the dace. "How's _that _for 'personal satisfaction?'" He yelled. "My friends are out there, probably hurt, and it's getting dark!"

"Kendall," he tried, "Calm down, think about this."

"No! How can you ask me to calm down? James, Logan and Carlos are out there, alone and hurt!" Kendall grabbed the front of the man's jacket. "Screw the police! They're not gonna get here in time. What trail did they go down?

James watched his friend rage in a state of almost shock. He knew Kendall was protective but…wow.

Carlos and Logan were the babies of the group, especially Logan in a strange way, and not in the weak, sissy way. Carlos was the youngest and Logan was the most innocent. Kendall and James were their protectors, keeping the world from ruining them.

And this…this was one of the biggest blows since Jimmy Nixon, Jake King, and Andrew Mitchell, Logan's…father.

Michael spat pink at his feet and smirked. "Trail A10."

Cat's eyes widened in disbelief. "You've gotta be kiddin' me. Michael, they're just kids!"

"What?" Kendall whirled around and shook the woman's shoulders. "What's wrong with that?"

"Kendall, that's a trail most rides aren't even allowed to go on." She pointed at a map with millions of multicolored lines on it. "The green lines are A, or advanced trails." There were only five green lines. "Trail A10 is in red, for being the hardest A trail out there. Eventually it branches out to only one other trail: IA, the one in pink. It's hard to tell if they went down there, but there's a turn in there that no rider can take properly above a slow walk."

"And since both Carlos and Logan aren't on their horses," James' eyes widened. "They went on that trail. Oh man." He ran his fingers through his hair. "The only good news is now we know where to start looking for them."

"We're not gonna wait for the cops." Cat grabbed some flashlights and a med kit from under the large sink. "They're gonna take too long. We'll go look now. I'm afraid there's been some wolves spotted in those woods lately, and even though they haven't attacked anyone yet no one's safe."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

First, don't ask me how they got in the tree. I may or may not explain that later.

Second...DUDE!

This chapter is dedicated to the oh-so-wonderful and talented and amazing _CheekyBrunette_. Read her stories, they are brilliant!

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 4

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Logan cried out when he stumbled over a tree root and his injured arm swung out instinctively to catch himself. He stopped for a moment, breathing harshly through his nose.<p>

"Sorry Logie," Carlos murmured.

He shook his head gently. "It's…not…your…fa-fault."

But he felt like it was, for some reason. "We're almost to the fork, I can see the little light for the sign."

Logan didn't say anything, but Carlos couldn't really blame him. Instead, they just started walking again in silence. There was no need to keep the pale teen talking, walking was enough to keep him awake.

Soon enough they came upon a wooden sign with IA carved into it, an arrow pointed the way they just came, A was carved and another arrow pointing farther up the other trail, and an arrow for the way back to the stable—that was helpful.

"IA?...A?" Logan lifted his head slightly to squint at the sign. "That…doesn't…s-sound right…The trail…was su-suppose…to be…B2."

"What?" Carlos exclaimed. The wrong trail? So Logan was right earlier, they were on the wrong trail. He was always right, how come they didn't listen to him more?

Logan pointed a trembling finger down the tail. "That's…th-the way…to the…sta-stables."

"Then that's the way we're gonna go," Carlos said in relief. "I gotta do it." He warned. Logan bit his lip and nodded before the Latino shifted the older boy higher so he's have a better grip, but that warning didn't keep it from hurting. "Sorry."

"Just...walk," he snapped...well, in the way Logan could snap. He wasn't really the snapping type. That must mean the pain was getting worse if he even snapped a little bit.

"Gotcha." He took a couple halting steps forward until they fell into their usual rhythm. There was a moment of silence before an idea dawned. "Hey, Logan," he said suddenly. "How good is your Spanish?"

Logan blinked owlishly at the question. "Uh…_mucho…_no." It was a lot harder than he remembered to think of the words. "_Mu-Muy…bien…ma-mas o…menos_."

"_Bueno, bueno_." Carlos chuckled. And with that he began quizzing Logan on the language, to pass the time and distract him from the pain. They were easy questions, Spanish I worthy.

Time passed and the older teen's answers were getting stronger and stronger, the distraction was working. Everything was good until a haunting howl broke through, another followed making the boys freeze in their tracks.

"_Los...lobos_?" Logan whispered, still in the Spanish funk.

Carlos nodded fearfully… "We're good, as long as they're not right—" A pair of yellow eyes gleamed in the shadows. "—In front of us," he finished lamely.

* * *

><p>"Logan!" James yelled, he fell silent for a moment but there was no answer. "Carlos!" Again, nothing.<p>

"They have to be out here," Kendall said. He was choking on his worry, but he forewent breathing in favor of swinging his light into the shadows.

Cat pushed some branches away. "They shouldn't be far, don't worry."

"Too late," the blonde muttered. "Logan! Carlos!"

A howl cut through the darkness, making them all break out in a cold sweat.

"That's...That's not what I think it is...is it?" James asked shakily.

Another howl followed, almost answering his question for him. It wasn't a very good answer, so _not _the one he wanted.

Kendall swore something in English and Cat swore something in Spanish and James swore something in his head. Both he and Logan hardly swore, they left that to Carlos and Kendall.

"I told Animal Control about this!" Cat hissed. "And what do they do? _Nada_! They don't even put trackers on them!"

"Animal Control handles stuff like this?" Kendall asked weakly. He didn't really want to know, it was just a question. What he did want know was: where were his friends?

James ran his hand trough his hair, fluffing it up in a nervous habit. "Here's a question: Are we going towards the wolves...or away?"

"And I've got an answer," Cat said. "We're going towards. If the wolves are out here then Logan and Carlos are going to be near by."

Kendall nodded. "Let's go. I'm getting worried."

"'Getting?'" James raised an eyebrow. "Man, you've _been _worried. We all have."

He winced. "I know, I know."

There was a loud, piercing scream that sounded all too familiar. James and Kendall were stuck in place before they took off as fast as the cold, ice making its way into their hearts.

That scream was Logan's.

* * *

><p>Carlos gripped Logan around the chest as tightly and as gently as he could, staring down, wide eyed, at the wolves prowling down on the ground.<p>

"They're…hungry," Logan said in amazement, not all there. "They're s-so…skinny."

The younger boy pulled him closer. "But everything's gonna be okay as long as we stay up here until some one comes." Hopefully Kendall and James. "Or until the sun rises." He hoped it didn't come to that, he didn't think he could stay in this tree until then and he also didn't think Logan would be able to handle it.

One of the wolves, the leader probably, jumped up and snapped at Carlos' dangling foot. He quickly whipped it out of the animal's reach, tucking it awkwardly against the trunk.

"We'll…be…o-okay." The pale teen's breathing was short and gasped, getting worse as time went on and now that he could unwillingly focus on the pain. "They'll…gi-give…up."

But Carlos was doubtful, they looked _really _hungry. "Okay, if you say so."

The leader glared at them and barked viciously. He backed up a few feet before taking a charging leap against the sturdy (maybe not as sturdy as they thought) tree, the branches shook dangerously from the force.

Logan's face went an ashen gray. "Car…los," he gasped in pain.

He felt the older boy slipping, but he didn't feel it fast enough. Logan was in no shape to catch himself so he went tumbling off the apparently flimsy branch. The Latino boy lunged for his friend and caught him by the hand.

Logan emitted a piercing shriek and his free hand clawed Carlos' saving arm, tears pouring from his glazed eyes. That's when he realized he grabbed he wrong arm, he had grabbed Logan's injured arm.

If it wasn't dislocated before then it was now.

Carlos would've frozen in shock and guilt if it weren't for the pathetic whimpers his friend was making. It hurt to look down and see him crying, eyes blown wide in fear and pain, a long red line of blood trailing from his lips to down his neck.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, even though he knew it wasn't going to fix anything.

Logan didn't—couldn't—answer, mind blank in a white flash of fire. He just kept on whimpering like a scared child and tried to feebly pry Carlos' fingers from around his wrist.

Carlos squeezed his eyes shut and pulled with all of his strength, earning another scream from his best friend. He grabbed his other arm and eased him on to the branch, setting him against the trunk.

Chocolate brown eyes were half lidded and stared into space at nothing, his head rolled limply to the side. Logan was so close to passing out cold, but the same pain he wanted to escape from wouldn't let him go.

The younger teen cupped his too pale cheeks and brought his head up so the were eye to eye. "Don't you dare pass out," he order. "I'm not kidding."

Logan let out a half-sigh, half-whimper, but nodded ever so slightly in agreement, widening his eyes so they wouldn't close so easily.

Carlos looked down and was happy to see the wolves were no longer there. They had scattered at Logan's first scream then completely ran the second time, scared of the loud noises.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 5

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Something crashed in the bushes to his right, making him jump and swing his flashlight wildly around. There was nothing, except an owl startled into flight and it's meal probably hiding under a tree.<p>

"You okay?" Kendall appeared at his side like he was melting out from the shadows, almost giving him a heart attack.

James jerked a small nod. "Yeah. I'm just a little...jumpy." The combination of worry for his friends, the looming threat of wolves, and the darkness of the forest had his nerves on edge.

The slightly shorter (but still pretty tall) teen swung his arms around him in a comforting, protective embrace. "Completely understandable." He squeezed his shoulders, being the leader even though he was freaking out himself. "Don't worry, we'll fine them. We have to."

"I know." He hoped.

"Hey!" Cat yelled. "I...see them...?" She trailed off, confused.

Both their heads shot up to see a flash of light blue, the color of Logan's shirt, and the familiar outline, shape, of Carlos and Logan...in a tree?

"Logan! Carlos!" Kendall screamed and took off at a run, James not too far behind at all.

Carlos was the only one who reacted, his eyes widening at the sight of his friends. James' breath caught when the younger teen scrambled out of the large tree, almost falling.

"James! Kendall!" He lunged for Kendall in a giant hug, tears pricking his eyes painfully. He never cried, not once, since this whole thing happened, so he was a bit entitled now. "You guys don't know how happy I am to see you."

The tall blond took him tightly in his arms. "Ditto," he mumbled, resisting the urge to cry from happiness. There was still a problem. "What's wrong with Logan?"

He hadn't moved since they got there.

Carlos bit his lip. "He-He's really hurt." He shifted his weight on the balls of his feet. "I barely got him in the tree in time to get away from the wolves, but then he fell...and I caught him." Tears fell from his eyes as he squeezed them shut. "And now...now he hurts even more."

James was hesitant when he climbed up the tree, feet slipping on the smooth surface. How did Carlos get both _he and Logan _up here? Especially if Logan was as injured as he said.

He grabbed the branches and hauled himself up, nearing falling backward when he finally got a good look at his friend. He swallowed several times when bile climbed up his throat.

Logan's head rolled and he stared at the taller teen. "J'mie?" He slurred, sounding horrible.

"Hey buddy." He forced a smile, he had never seen him so lost, so broken, so _not _Logan. Tan fingers reached out a brushed his cheek to see if this was really happening…

It was.

James went slack for a moment in both relief and disbelief (_Damn Michael)_ before he straightened up. "I'm gonna get you out of this tree, okay?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm in a tree?"

"He hit his head pretty hard," Carlos called up. "And the pain's makin' him…lose where he is sometimes. His back and shoulder are messed up too."

The tallest boy nodded, letting the three know he head. He gently took the shoulder that looked the greatest and pulled him close, Logan shuddered against him, against the pain. Slowly he eased himself down to a lower branch then gathered the paler than normal teen in his arms to slide the rest of the way.

Logan cried out when the impact jarred his bones, grating them in every wrong way possible. He pulled his head into the crook of James' neck and sobbed into it, trembling as spikes of pain traveled up his back from the position.

"You okay?" James whispered, but he had a feeling he already knew the answer.

He shook his head and clutched him tighter. That proved right then and there, even though there was no doubt, that he was in an unbelievable amount of pain. Logan never admitted it unless it was unbearable.

Kendall came over and placed a hand on his forehead before running his fingers through raven locks after he unbuckled the riding helmet. Carlos had taken it off earlier but the dangers of pulling him into a tree made him put it back on just in case.

"We're gonna get you to help," Kendall said firmly. "'Kay Logie?"

"Please," he whimpered.

Very carefully, very slowly, they shiftdr the younger teen onto Kendall's back. But even their gentleness wasn't enough. James walked as close as he could behind, hands on the injured teen's waist so he could help him stay up and Carlos was off to the side to help him catch Logan if he slipped.

Kendall took a deep breath and moved, purposely missing rocks and roots to give him a smooth ride. Logan's forehead dropped on his shoulder and his good arm wrapped around his neck, he breathed out in a small amount of relief.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the stable Logan was closer than ever to passing out but his mind refused to let him. The flashing lights of two police cruisers and an ambulance lit up the gravel parking lot like the Fourth of July.<p>

Andres sat on the steps of the Big House having his head looked at, Cat cried out her husband's name and rushed over to him.

A kind looking man gestured the boys over to him and told them to set Logan in the gurney he and his partner pulled out.

The teen hissed at the battle of pain and comfort that assaulted his back but then relaxed ever so slightly, his eyes closing in relief.

"He jumped me," they heard Andres say. "Some how he got out the rope and jumped me, hit me with a boot scraper, knocked me out, then ran off like a crazy man."

"Did you see which way he went?"

He waved his hand in vague direction. "I was _knocked out_. What do you think?" He asked sarcastically, showing everyone exactly why he and Cat worked so well together as a couple.

Cat grabbed his chin and inspected his head, kissing the bandage lightly. "So he's out there somewhere?"

Andres nodded solemnly. "Yeah, _bella_. He is."

They both turned to see the ambulance that held Logan take off with its sirens blaring, the other boys left behind like lost puppies who just got kicked.

"Come on guys!" She called. "I'll take you to the hospital."

One of the officers nodded. "You do that. We'll send someone over, the lead of this case, in about a hour."

"Why?" That was Carlos, eyes red rimmed and face pale. "It's not like we can tell him much, we barely knew the guy, let alone why he would do something like this." He had no clue.

The officer frowned in sympathy. "We've realized that, but Mr. Mitchell—Logan—might have noticed something suspicious. Micheal Morgan has proved to be a dangerous man if he's willing to hurt a sixteen year old he didn't even know and for no apparent reason."

James glared. "'No apparent reason?' Did you tell him, Andres, why he did this?"

He nodded. "Of course. And Micheal is more than dangerous, he's a bit touched in the head."

"Come on." Kendall was starting to impatient, he wanted to see Logan. "Let's get to the hospital."

The other two nodded and all five of them headed to Cat's car, the officer trailing behind like an annoying little kid.

He seemed to realize this because he smile sheepishly and stopped. "Just to let you know," he said, "The detective's name is Spencer and her partner is Keller, they're the best team out there."

* * *

><p>"Now, are you sure Mr. Morgan said that?" Nick Keller asked, jotting down a few notes.<p>

James nodded. "Yeah. He hated us 'cause we got the deal instead of him, even though we didn't get it until _years _after he tried."

Detective Juliet Spencer wrote that down, despite the statements from three out of four of Big Time Rush she still needed all she could since the most important one was currently passed out with sweet drugs running through his system.

"We'll start looking now," she said, "And we'll keep you updated. Give us a call when your friend wakes up."

"His name is Logan," Kendall growled. He wilted at the looks Carlos and James gave him. "Sorry." He ran a hand down his tired face. "My nerves are a little frayed."

Keller nodded, and put his notebook away. "Understandable." He gestured towards his superior and they both headed out the room. "We'll leave you now, just don't forget to call."

Out in the hallway Keller sighed in relief. "Well, that was nerve racking," he admitted.

She raised an eyebrow. "How? They're just kids. Famous and hurt, but just kids."

"Lily really likes them," he said. "You know that." Lily, his eleven year old daughter. "She's gonna freak when she hears this on the news."

"Then make sure she knows he's gonna be fine before she finds out the hard way." Spencer pointed out.

"And speaking of news," he jerked his head towards a group of cameramen and reporters. "What should we do about them? Big Time Rush won't be too happy about them."

"Same thing we always do." She shrugged. "Lie and misdirect."

"Awesome."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 6

Mikkal

* * *

><p>James rested his elbows on his knees and ran a shaking hand through his hair, the adrenaline rush of "rescuing" Logan finally leaving him and making him feel drained. He should just go to sleep so he was rested up for the horrible days (or hours, hopefully hours) he had ahead of him waiting for Michael to be caught, but he wanted to be awake to see Logan open his eyes and smile.<p>

_If_ he smiled, pain doesn't usually make people smile.

"Why would someone do something like this?" Carlos muttered, he regretted asking what the hell was going on. "Did he _target_ Logan? Was it random?"

"I'd rather have it be random than anything else," Kendall admitted. "I don't think any of us could handle if he was actually aiming for Logan."

Carlos and Logan: babies. Kendall and James: protectors. Logan: Everything in their world. It was weird, because no one back home expected Logan to stay in their group for long, but eventually they shocked everyone when they went from second grade to high school closer than ever.

And it was really thanks to Logan.

Kendall was the leader and over-protector, James kept them slightly on track and was the co-leader, and Carlos was the fun and smile. Logan? Logan was the one who calmed everyone down with things got a little out of hand, who listened without judging, who was the rock whenever something bad happened, who was as wild and crazy as the rest of them when he wanted to be, he was everything that could be perfect for the group.

Sure, he had his screw ups, but they all did. They were human.

Logan was their best friend, their brother, sometimes he couldn't see that but they knew the truth and they hoped to get Logan to see that one day.

"I just know I want to strangle Michael's neck," Jame squeezed the back of his neck. "Is that bad? Does that make me down to his level?" He asked fearfully, wide hazel eyes looked at his friends for them to deny it.

"No!" Kendall exclaimed. "Not at all, we all feel the same way." He clenched his hands into fists, James had no idea how much he was having similar thoughts to strangling that jerk-butt. Actually, he was thinking more like...dissemination. And he even voiced that out loud—"Scatter him around, so no one could ever find him again."

"Wow," Logan joked softly. "I didn't even know you knew what that meant."

_"Logan!"_

He winced and rubbed his throbbing head, at least his headache went from playing _Boyfriend_ to _I Know You Know_...though he wasn't sure if there was much of a difference. "Who do you want to disseminate?"

The guys had fallen silent when Logan winced and now they were just plain uncomfortable. In all honesty, they didn't want to tell him the truth. But then again, he didn't like it when people lied.

"Michael," James finally said.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "The stable hand? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He's the one who put the wrong bit in your horse's mouth and let us go on the wrong trail," Kendall explained. "Something about hating us because he tried to get a deal with Gustavo but got turned down, then we got it a could years later. Not to mention, he's just crazy!"

"Oh."

"'_Oh_?'" James repeated in disbelief. "That's all you can say? Man, you were seriously hurt all 'cause of him, there's gotta be more than just 'oh.'"

He looked up at them. "I just dunno what to say. Do you guys know why it was _my _horse?"

"No," Carlos spoke for the first time since he woke up. "The LAPD are looking into that right now." He grabbed his friend's hand. "Logan...are you okay?" He had to know, he _needed _to know.

Logan gave him a small smile. "A little sore, but I feel fine."

"That's good to hear," the doctor said, walking in with a clipboard. "You should really thank your friend here, he did an amazing job of taking care of you while you two were lost."

"I know." Logan's smile got wider and he squeezed the younger teen's hand. "Thanks Carlos," he said softly.

The doctor nodded. "Okay. Your arm is dislocated but pretty cleanly. Your fall out of the tree made it worse than it was going to be but if Mr. Garcia hadn't caught you then you'd have a broken leg, possibly a fracture in your spinal cord."

He semi-ignored the way three of the boys tensed up, Logan just looked confused. "Your back is fine, several deep bruises and it's going to be sore for a while but it'll be fine. You also got a rather serious concussion, but considering the fact you were coherent for everything and could remember what you should remember we decided to let you sleep, we checked your pupils every two hours though."

Logan frowned. "If I remember everything that I should remember then why can't I remember Carlos 'catching me?' Why did he have to catch me?" He turned to his friends. "Guys?"

Tears suddenly came to his eyes, Carlos gripped Logan's hand tighter. "You were hurt and...and there were _wolves..._there was no where else to go so I...I got us in a tree but...but you fell and I caught you. You arm," he swallowed. "You said your arm was sprained...earlier...but when I caught you...it...it..." His breath caught painfully.

_God_. He could remember how _awful _Logan's scream—_shriek—_was, the tears, the blood, _everything_.

"Shh," Logan soothed. "It's okay. I'm going to be fine. And you heard the doctor, if you hadn't caught me then I'd be in a wheelchair with either broken legs or a broken spine. And neither of those sound very pleasant." He teased that last part, hoping to brighten the mood.

He chuckled at the teasing tone. "No, they don't," he muttered.

"Your guardian had been inform that you've waken up and she'll be here in a little bit to see how you're doing," the doctor said. "Boys, I'm sorry but visiting hours will end in a few. And I can't make exceptions if Mr. Mitchell isn't in serious condition."

Kendall nodded, he understood completely even if he didn't like it. "Makes sense. We'll be sure to leave _exactly_ five minutes later than we should, ten minutes at the most." He flashed a sickeningly mock smile at him, exaggerating his looks...the eyebrows helped a bit whether he wanted them to or not.

That made Logan laugh, which encouraged Carlos to laugh, and it turn gave the two older teens a chance to smile. Everything was much more depressing when Carlos was sad.

The doctor, even with all of his medical glory, rolled his eyes, a grin on his face, and left.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Logan grabbed his head with his free hand. "Note to self, no laughing." He moved to rub his shoulder gently. "So, have they caught Michael?"

"Wh-What makes you think they haven't?" James asked, startled.

He gave them a look that said _really?_ "'Cause you guys are more depressed than you usually are when someone gets hurt and you would've mentioned it earlier. Also, and I quote 'What makes you think they haven't?' Who says that when they have?"

Kendall smiled wryly, Logan's logic never failed, but frowned seconds later. "No, we had him but he knocked Andre out and got away."

"Great," Logan groaned. He hated being out of the loop, it made him feel like everything's been explained millions of times over. He glanced at the too pale, too quiet Carlos.

"Hey Kendall." James grabbed his friend's shoulder and started tugging him out of the room. "Come on, I'm thirsty and you're the only one with money besides Logan."

Logan watched them go with a small smirk on his face, James always knew when to leave so someone could have a 'heart to heart' (or, as Katie liked to call them, 'chick flick moments'). He turned to Carlos, the smirk melting into worry lines on his forehead. "Carlos, are you okay? You're kinda quiet."

The younger teen stared at him in disbelief. "You're really asking that?" Tears came to his eyes again. Logie," he choked out. "I don't think you realize how _awful _it was to see you like that. You looked...you looked _dead_."

"But I'm not," he reminded him. "I'm not dead. And, like I said, I'm going to be fine. I won't say anything stupid like 'forget all about this' 'cause I know that's gonna be impossible but there's a chance that better things will happen so it'll be pushed back." Logan tapped the younger teen's forehead. "That's not gonna happen, though, if you think too much about _now_."

Carlos smiled. "You really are the smart one."

"Are you just now figuring that out?"

* * *

><p>Logan woke to a small noise next to his bed, at first he didn't think anything of it. It was probably just one of his friends, but then...then he remembered that the three of them were forced to go back to the apartment.<p>

His arm throbbed painfully, but he ignored it in favor of peering through the weak light from the hallway.

"Hello?" Logan's voice sounded weaker than he'd like..._great_. "Is anyone there?" _God_, he felt so worthless.

"Yes, in a way." That voice...sounded off, like they weren't all there. And it sounded scarily familiar.

He struggled to a sitting position. "Who is it?...Michael?"

"Wow!" Michael came into view, a strange glint in his eyes. "You really are the smart one, aren't you?"

"What are you doing here?" He reached for the call button, but his hand was grabbed in a tight grip and yanked away. Logan faltered on the edge of the bed, pain traveling from his arm to across his shoulders. "What the hell?"

Michael leaned in close. "Ya know, it's not good for a nice boy like you to cuss. I should really wash your mouth out with soap."

Logan tried to take back his hand, tried to take back control but not only was Michael stronger than him but he was already too weak to do anything. "The guys said you were touched in the head, but this is just plain ridiculous."

The older man scowled. "I'm not crazy!" He took his chin and pulled it up so they were face to face. "I just need to talk to you. Come with me."

He glared at him. "I don't think so," he hissed.

Michael swung and back handed him across the face, earning a small yelp and blood flying. He dragged the teen out his bed, a thud sounding over the noises of wires snapping.

"Oh, I think you will."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

And sorry about the language later in the chapter, it's important so it's italicized and it's even more important when you realize who is swearing and why. Think back to when Logan and Carlos were lost and it'll make more sense. Also, before when Logan actually got kidnapped last chapter, I don't consider "hell" an actual cuss word.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 7

Mikkal

* * *

><p>When Juliet Spencer got the call she was more than mad, she was <em>pissed<em>. And everyone could see that when she walked into the empty hospital room that _should_ have been housing Logan Mitchell.

"Detective Spencer!" James shouted. "You've gotta find him!" He ran up to here, just barely hanging back from full on tackling her.

She ignored him for the moment and turned to the blubbering nurse. "How did Michael get in?" She demanded.

The woman flinched at her harsh tone. "He said his name was Dean Winchester!" She wailed. "I didn't mean to!"

"_Are you serious_?" Kendall screeched in a impressively high voice. "_Dean Winchester_ is a character on a _tv show_!" He advanced on the terrified woman. "Do you know what you just did?" He asked harshly.

"Kendall." Spencer said sharply.

He unwillingly stood down, allowing Carlos to grab his arm to make sure he didn't blow off again even though the youngest boy wanted so much to do the same right now.

"Ken," James whispered. "You have to relax, if you keep freaking out like this you aren't going to be told anything." He gripped the blonde's wrist. "Detective Spencer doesn't _have_ to tell us what's going on."

"What?" Kendall exclaimed. "Of course she does, Logan's our brother!"

He squeezed his grip. "Yes he is, but not _legally_. She'll tell your mom and I know your mom will tell us but you_ know _it won't be the same. So, _relax_ and be _cool_, she'll find Logan."

Kendall clenched his hands into fists and took a deep breath before loosening his muscles and nodding. "Fine," he breathed. "But only for you guys, and _Logan_."

* * *

><p>Fire, that's what it felt like. Fire coursing through every nerve, replacing his blood with the most dangerous of the four elements. He struggled to open his eyes and immediately regretted when he did, it seemed to make everything hurt even more.<p>

Logan groaned and looked around, but there was nothing really there to see. Which was something scary all in itself.

"About time you woke up Pretty Boy." Michael snarled.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He was pretty proud of how defiant his voice sounded right now, almost a complete opposite of how he was feeling. "James is the pretty one."

"Oh, I don't know about that." Wow, creepy much?

Logan glared at the faint outline that made up the other man. "I thought you wanted to talk to me? About what?" Jeez, not only did he sound defiant but he sounded so calm. Freaky-deaky stuff there.

Wait...freaky-deaky stuff? Great, now he was going crazy.

Michael walked over to him, a hand sliding up to ruffle his hair without a care in the world, like he didn't just kidnap a sixteen year old "just to talk to him."

He shrugged and walked behind the short boy. "About your success." He pulled a finger across the strip of his pale neck that showed, earning a creeped out shiver from Logan. "About how _you _of all people are part of a almost-famous boy band. From what I remember you've always wanted to be a doctor."

Logan swallowed. "Wow, you sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself...Wait, how'd you know I wanted to be a doctor? I haven't said anything about that."

Michael suddenly grabbed him by his hair and yanked his head back, exposing his neck and digging his shoulder against the metal chair. He placed a threatening, open palmed hand on his throat, putting a slight pressure on it and digging his thumb into the soft flesh

"I would suggest you stop talking back," he whispered dangerously low. "You don't know what could happen."

He went rigid, practically holding his breath, and nodded mutely. Logan sighed when the man moved away and cracked his neck, fear starting to become an overwhelming thing. His shoulder throbbed and his back ached, but his head was loads better.

Thank God for the little things.

"So," Logan tried, his voice finally shaking. "You want to know why _me _out of all people?"

Michael's eyes lit up like Carlos in a corndog store (He so hoped his friends would find him soon.) "Yes! Tell me Logan Mitchell, why?"

He shrugged the best he could. "I have no idea. The other guys make up Big Time Rush all on their own, they don't need me."

Michael's hand connected with Logan's cheek, forcing the teen's head back too far and earning a cry of surprise and pain. His chin fell to rest against his chest, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to will the stinging away.

"Don't lie to me! You're not a liar." Michael screamed. "You're the smart one! _Tell me the truth!_"

"_I don't know!_" He yelled back. "I don't know! Okay?" He flinched when Michael raised his fist in warning. "Why do you wanna know so bad?"

Michael glared at him and ran a shaky hand down his face. "I don't get why it wasn't _me_. I can sing, I can dance, I can act, I look good. Why didn't Gustavo pick _me_? I have the drive, I mean. I know everything about you!" He waved his hand dismissively. "I understand Diamond, damn that kid has the looks and he can sing. Knight's got a passion that he doesn't even know he has, and Garcia had a natural voice and he's such an idiot that girls love him."

"Hey," Logan snarled. "Don't call my friend an idiot, he's one of the smartest guys I know." Damned if anyone said anything different.

"Aw, that's so sweet. Standing up for your handicapped friend, you should really get a medal for your community services."

"Shut the _fuck_ up!" Logan spat, this time the fire burning through his veins was the good kind. He didn't care who this asshole thought he was, but he was _not _going to talk about his friends like that. "I don't know who the _fuck _you are but you better shut your _fucking _mouth!"

Michael lunged for him and knocked him back, his chair falling until it hit the ground with a bone rattling thud. He grabbed the back rails and started dragging it to an attached room, making sure to hit the wall on the way there.

Logan kicked out with his free legs, squirming in his confines but that only made the agony worse. He didn't dare cry out, what ever the mad man was planning he didn't want to make the punishment even harsher.

"What did I say about cussing?" His voice was eerily calm. "I can't have you cuss when I'm trying to have a decent conversation with you." He started to fill up the crummy basement tub then slid Logan's arms up and over the chair before holding him over the germ infested water.

Scared eyes widened and he struggled even more to get away. "Wh-What do you th-think you're do-doing?" His face was lowered towards the water. "N-No! You can't do this!"

"Yes I can, and I will! You need to learn to respect your elders and tell the truth!"

And with that he shoved the teen's head into the water, it didn't take much strength seeings how he was still weak from the horse and the fact that his arms were bound. His legs kicked out though, but there was only so much they could do.

Ice slammed into his face, burning more than fire could ever do. Logan instinctively held his breath but it became too much and he opened his mouth to suck in a gasp of air only to get water in it's place. He choked and trashed around, trying even hard to get away.

Black and gold flashed behind his eyelids and there was a pressure in his chest there was no way of describing, panic took hold and filled every inch of his heart. His head felt heavy, like it was trying to sink him to the bottom of the tub, but then it felt light.

He suddenly felt tired, too tired. Logan stopped fighting back and just let himself relax into the darkness caving in, that's when something grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him out, throwing him against the tiled floor.

"Have you learned your lesson Pretty Boy?"

Logan coughed and gagged, water pooling from him mouth. He breathed harshly and shallow, trying to get over the face that yes, yes he did almost die. A boot came into contact with his stomach, he _oomfed _and curled against the force, too tired to actually do anything more.

"I asked you a question!" Michael kicked him again. "Have you learned your lesson?"

The raven haired nodded pathetically, willing the tears not to fall. "Y-Yes," he croaked out. "I've le-learned my lesson."

He stood back, pleased as all get out with himself. "Good. You're just as smart as I remember." He jerked a thumb back at the filled tub. "If you're thirsty there's some water. If you're hungry..." he shrugged. "Deal with it."

Michael stepped over the shivering teen and moved to walk out the door, but then he turned and undid the rope tying his wrists together. "I'll free you, though. These probably aren't good if you wanna drink, that is...if you wanna drown yourself again." He laughed and caress his pale, wet forehead. "Sleep tight."

He flicked off the light and locked the door, leaving Logan trapped in darkness.

As soon as he heard the lock click he sobbed and hugged himself, bringing his knees to his chest. It hurt to cry like this, his chest protesting each heave, but at the same time it felt good. He tried to stay strong and not let the man break him ever since he woke up, but this...this was the last straw.

He wasn't broken but it was pretty damn close.

Logan squeezed his eyes tighter together. "Please find me," he whispered. He had no one with him this time, no Carlos to ask him Spanish questions or anything. He had hope, and that's all he could rely on at the moment. "Just please, don't leave me here."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 8

Mikkal

* * *

><p>"Carlos! Open the door, please!" James pound his fists against the bathroom door. His hand ached, he had been doing this since they got back from the hospital and Carlos locked himself in the bathroom a hour ago. "Come on!" He rested his forehead on the wood, breathing deeply.<p>

Kendall came up behind him, a hand coming to his shoulder to give some comfort. What he didn't expect was for hazel eyes to turn to him, pleading "help" in so little words.

While Logan was there when everything went bad there was only so much he could do. Kendall... Kendall was the shoulder to lean on, even for Logan (even for Logan when he would rather keep it a secret). Logan panicked and had a tendency to bring the empathy on himself too much, but Kendall had the logical approach when it came to emotions.

"Carlos," he went for the soothing action of just _talking _instead of banging on the door. "You know we'll find him, right? Locking yourself in the bathroom won't do anything, in fact it'll probably make things worse."

The door pulled open, almost making the blonde fall. "What do you mean?" Carlos demanded. "Worse? How can I make things worse? Logan's been _kidnapped! _Nothing gets worse than that!"

_Unless he was dead_.

But no one wanted to think about that possibility.

Kendall sighed and took him into a tight hug, holding him close. "He'll be found and he'll be safe," he murmured. Moments later James joined in on the hug. "We can't do things like this, though," he continued. "What would Logan say when he finds out? He'd feel really guilty and you guys know how he gets when he's guilty."

Carlos clung to him like he was his anchor to the thought that Logan was going to be found. It was like without him there would be no hope left. "Please bring him home," he mumbled to neither of them.

James and Kendall's eyes met and there was the same prayer in them.

* * *

><p>Her line of sight was interrupted by a case file coming in front of her computer. Spencer scowled and yanked the folder from Keller's grip, she wasn't exactly in happy mood. She inspected the label, eyes widening when it fully comprehended.<p>

_Case File #56-05 _

_ Morgan, Michael W._

_ North Richland Hills Police Department, Texas_

"What do you mean this guy's got a record?" She shouted.

Keller shrugged. "I don't know. And I don't think Mr. and Mrs. Aragon know either, they would've have told us."

"Unless they're hiding something," Spencer muttered, flipping through the file. "Petty theft, car-jacking, assault, breaking and entering, and...stalking? Who'd he stalk?"

He looked at his notes. "Two years ago a twelve year old, Cassidy Jones. And then before that an seven year old nine years ago. His name has been withheld."

She shoved the folder into his chest. "Find. Out. His. Name."

"Okay, okay," he grumbled. "You don't have to get so bitchy."

"Excuse me?" Spencer raised an eyebrow.

He raised his hands in defense. "I'm just saying. You have a nearly flawless track record, you're gonna find this kid. Don't worry."

She sighed and ran her hand through her hard. "Keller..._Nick_. Nearly flawless doesn't guarantee anything. _Nearly_ flawless means there are flaws, and Logan Mitchell could always be a blemish on the record."

"Then you've just gotta keep working." He gave her a soft smile.

Spencer returned it before taking a deep breath and straightening her shoulders. "Then take your own advice and _keep working_."

* * *

><p>"Wakey, wakey sunshine."<p>

His face was slapped lightly, almost lovingly...in a creepy way. He groaned and squeezed his eyes tighter together before he forced them open. Much to his displeasure he was confronted with the smiling form of Michael.

"Ah, there's a good boy."

Logan groaned again, his chest still stinging from the bath it should've never gotten. He let his head roll up to stare at the single light above him before falling back down slightly so he was staring straight ahead.

Michael chuckled. "I see the lesson didn't stick. I guess my teaching could only go so far. I remember you use to be hard to teach. It's amazing you've turned into such a good student in school."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" He croaked out. "You said something about that before. You remember things about me, like you were there. And you know I want to be a doctor even though I haven't mentioned it on any interview yet...who are you?"

"Aw, I'm hurt Mr. Mitchell." He put a hand over his heart. "I use to be a kindergarten teacher back in the day, back in Texas."

Logan's eyes widened. "Mr...Mr. Morgan?"

Michael grinned. "Who else? You use to be borderline ADHD. Now you're a top student, why couldn't you do that for me? Why did you have to exceed me? I taught you the basic vocals of the music line and you weren't even good at it. Yet, you don't thank me when you ever have to say thanks for Big Time Rush. Why _you _of all people?"

"Why...why are you doing this?" Logan struggled to form the words, the shock seeping in. This was something out of a nightmare, a nightmare he never remembered having.

He shrugged. "I got bored, I tried for Rocque Records. Got denied. Saw you. Did you know your mom put a restraining order on me?" He asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Yeah. Back when you were seven you visited me...well, visited the school, for a 'back in the day' thing and I saw how much you grew. I couldn't help it, I wanted to know more. I wanted to see how you were living your life, how you became so quiet and scare when you use to not be able to sit still for more than a minute.

"Imagine my surprise, I come to your house one day and the door's wide open. Your dad's an asshole, you know that?"

"I have a vague idea," Logan said. He tried to push back the unwanted thoughts that came from that day.

He was rewarded with a slap to the face. His head whipped back and blood pooled in his mouth, he spat out the red onto the bathroom floor. He faintly wondered when he got tied up again.

"That's another thing you didn't do." Michael said. "Back talk to your elders. What happened to you?"

Logan smirked. "I made friends."

* * *

><p><em>"Hello, you've reached Joanna Mitchell. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a short message I'll get back to you as soon as I can."<em>

"Um. Hey Miss. Mitchell. It's Kendall. Uh, I don't know if you've heard, but I figured...it didn't matter if you have or haven't... you might want to hear it from me...Something's...something's happened to Logan. I don't know everything, but he was taken by a man name Michael Morgan...He's... missing... The LAPD's looking for both of them...But if they can't find him...if they can't find him then _we _will. When you get this, call me. Please..."

* * *

><p>The door slammed shut, stirring Logan from his doze. He jerked his head up to see Michael walk in, a McDonald's bag in hand.<p>

"I've a while to think about what you've said," he started out conversationally. "And I agree. Your friends have made you like this, which is why this is hard for me to say."

Logan's heart clenched painfully, not liking where this was going, but he didn't say a word. He just watched Michael take a taunting bite out of a double cheeseburger. How long had it been since he last ate? Two days? Four days? A week? It certainly felt long enough.

Michael smirked at the silence. "What I mean is: I can't go and kill you friends, no matter how easy it would be." He relished in the slight fear that flickered across the pale teen's face. "But what I can do is what I like to call 'conditioning'."

* * *

><p>"Round 1.5!" Michael shouted gleefully though the closet door. "Just think of it this way: When all of this is over, you'll be a good person again."<p>

Logan couldn't hear him, his breathing was too loud and blood roared in his ears. Eyes were blown wide, trying to see through the pitch darkness...Shaking hands roamed over the walls, feeling what he couldn't see. He jiggled the door knob pathetically, but it was not use.

"L-let m-me o-out!" His voice cracked. "P-please!"

"Begging already? Pathetic." His footsteps echoed as he walked away.

He sobbed even though he tried not to, it seemed that's all he'd been doing lately, like the _pathetic _weakling he was. Oh God, his self-deprecation was back to square one. He just ruined all of his friends' hard work on getting him to realize that, yes, he _did _matter.

Suddenly, anger took hold. He shot to his feet and slammed against the door, pounding with all of his strength.

"Let me out you _asshole!" _He shouted. "You psycho, demented_ freak!"_

His hands tore the cheap wood, bleeding and throbbing, but he didn't stop. Logan clawed even more, splinters piercing and ripping the skin. The pain didn't register.

Logan collapsed against the wood, one hand clutching the door knob and the other hitting weakly. He rested his head on the door, eyes falling close.

"Please," he whispered. "Please let me out."

Fear and panic and hopelessness raged a war under his skin to the point were he didn't know which one of the three he was was feeling the strongest. He _hated _the dark, and he could feel the walls closing in with every panicky breath he took.

It was getting harder to breath. He clutched at his throat with a shaking hand and tried to force air into his lungs. Panic become the strongest and tears stung his eyes.

They fell with surprising intensity; a bone-rattling sob tore through his lips. He couldn't..._He couldn't_.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

For the record, there is a time skip from Chapter 8 to Chapter 9...

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 9

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Detective Spencer stared at Catalina Aragon, the woman twitched under the heated gaze. She was getting tired of hitting dead ends. Five days had passed since Logan Mitchell was taken and it pissed her off that the only thing she found out was that he was the kid Michael Morgan stalked and Morgan use to be his kindergarten teacher.<p>

"I'm telling you," she said. "I had no idea he had a record. I told you that four days ago!"

She glared at her. "I'm trying to find a kidnapped teen. Are you going to help me?"

"I _am_ helping you!" Cat wailed. "I've told you everything I know about Michael, _everything!_ I have nothing more to tell!"

Just as Spencer opened her mouth to yell at bimbo (she wasn't stupid...she was just too pissed off to care) there was a knock at the interrogation room door. She stomped over and yanked it open.

"_What?_" If you wanted to do the one thing Spencer hated, well...Nick just did it. "I told you to never, _ever_ interrupt me while I'm in interrogation!"

"We have a _slight_ problem," he said meekly. That raised an eyebrow, since when was Nick _meek_?

* * *

><p>Kendall lunged at the ringing phone and he flipped it open quickly when the display said <em>Detective Juliet Spencer<em>. Yes, he had her in his contacts since Day Two.

"Detective Spencer?"

"Kendall," she sounded a bit weird. "We have a problem."

His heart stopped. "A...A problem?" James and Carlos had crowded around him when he said the woman's title and name and now their faces were as white as his. "What kind of problem?"

"Michael Morgan is dead," she said bluntly.

"W-What? How?" What about Logan?

She sighed. "He was in a car accident, coming back from McDonalds. According to the workers there that's the restaurant he's been going to the past couple of days."

"How did you not know that?" Kendall exclaimed.

"Because they're idiots and didn't realize that we wanted to know that!" She yelled, completely and utterly frustrated. "We're searching his car now for any information about where Logan's being held, I'll call you again whether we find something or not."

He hung up when she did and stared blankly at his phone, thoughts racing. What did this mean for Logan? It had already been five days, how much longer could he last if the police didn't find out where he was?

Was he even still alive?

"Kendall?" Carlos whispered. "What's going on?"

No, he was still alive...he had to be.

Kendall shook his head and straightened his shoulders. He had to be strong, for the guys. If he wasn't strong then they would have no one to lean on. If he wasn't strong then they would've lost hope a long time ago.

This was all his fault, if he had just paid attention when Castiel ran off in the first place then Logan would've have been cornered by those wolves, wouldn't have been hurt even worse, wouldn't have been in the hospital, and wouldn't have been kidnapped by a psycho.

...If only he paid more attention.

He took a deep breath. "Michael's dead," he said and then recounted the conversation he had with the detective. "Now, all we can do is wait."

Suddenly James slammed his fists against the dinner table. "Waiting is all we've every done! We've got to do something this time!" He cover his eyes. "I'm so tired of waiting," he sobbed. "I just want him back."

Kendall gathered him into a hug. "We're close, Jamie. We're closer than we have ever been in the last five days. We'll find him soon, I can feel it."

He nodded and wrapped an arm around Carlos, pulling him close. The three of them stayed there for a while, relishing in each other's company and feeling their hearts break even more with Logan not being there.

Kendall felt the faith they had in him was undeserved. He's done nothing that proved that they should look up to him. Letting Logan get taken was the last straw, and it was killing him inside.

He buried his face in James' hair and attempted to breath in the normally strawberry smelling sent only to remember too late that none of them have taken care of themselves very well.

James wasn't obsessive about his looks anymore, he still showered but he wasn't using his normal 'Cuda Strawberry products and was using Kendall's Axe wash. He just didn't care anymore whether he looked his best.

It was painful to know how much James was suffering because of this, it...it almost made him mad at Logan for getting taken...No! It wasn't it fault.

Damn it...he was losing it.

And Carlos...he was paler than normal, didn't smile as much, and no one had seen his helmet in _days_. It was like, with Logan gone they lost a part of themselves.

Kendall would hate to see what it was like if it was him himself gone, or Carlos, or James, or even Katie or his Mom. What if more than one of them was missing?

...Just when he thought his nightmares were getting less... Now he knew what was going to star in his one tonight.

The phone rang again, startling them all.

His hands fumbled with the device, almost dropping it in his haste and he flipped it open once more, the name _Detective Juliet Spencer _flashing.

"Did you find him?" He asked in a rush.

There was a beat of silence on the other line and Kendall's mind raced.

"Detective Spencer?" His voice quiet and pathetic. "Detective Spencer, did...did you find him? Is he o-okay?"

"Kendall," she said. "There was a GPS built into his car that wasn't completely damaged in the accident, we were able to find out his home address."

"A-and?" He choked out. If she would just stop dragging it out! Just tell him Logan was dead and let him go die in a corner in peace.

"We normally don't do this, it's against protocol and everything, but would you guys mind coming with us? We don't know what his...mental stability is and it would be best if some one he knew and trusted was there."

His eyes widened. "Y-yes. Yes! Take us with you!"

There was rustling, like she was nodding. "Okay. Tell your mom and we'll pick you up in five minutes. You're not going to be involved in the initial raid, but can come in when we say clear and help us look."

* * *

><p>Adrenaline rushed through his veins as red and blue flashed around him and the police cruiser raced down back roads. He clenched James' hand in his right one and Carlos' in his left one, the blood pooling in their fingers.<p>

Hope built in his chest. They were almost there, _so close._

Carlos leaned against him, drawing comfort from his stable shoulders. His lips moved in a small prayer. James looked outside the window, watching trees flash by and willed the car to go faster.

In no time they slid to a stop in front of a ratty, old house and the officer driving jumped out with his weapon in hand. The boys watched helplessly as Nick, Detective Spencer, and other armed officers stormed into the building, shouting orders.

Kendall had to restrain himself from bolting out and rushing in there. It took all of his will power. Instead, he clutched his friends' hands tighter.

Spencer stuck her head out the door and waved at them. "Come in guys!"

And they did, stumbling over each other in panicky haste.

The house was run down and creaking with every footfall, spider webs clung to corners, and rat droppings laid scattered on the floor. It was really a house of a horror movie, and that realization just made everything worse.

"Logan!" Kendall was the first to call his friend's name. "Logan?"

James followed suit, then Carlos.

They moved together like one entity, wanting to find their friend but not wanting to lose each other in the process. There was no up stairs to check and common sense (and a lot of crime dramas) told them the basement was their best bet. But their fear kept them back, they weren't sure what they were going to find.

Kendall took his role of leader and made his way down, Carlos hanging on to the back of his shirt and James making sure the detectives followed them.

He held his breath as he listened above the creaking of the wood and nearly had a heart attack when he heard nothing other than that.

Spencer brushed passed him and checked the bathroom. "Someone go check that closet."

Kendall swallowed thickly and moved to do as told. When he opened it the first thing he noticed was the long, bloody scratch marks in the wood. The second thing he noticed was a huddled figure in the corner.

His breath caught.

"_Logan_?"

The teen's head shot up at the noise, his eyes wide and wild. His hands trembled as they came up to grip his matted hair, blood smeared all along his pale arms. He seemed to curl even tighter into himself and soft whimpers escaped his throat but no tears fell.

Kendall forced James and Carlos back, feeling bad that he was keeping them from Logan, but, at the same time, didn't think Logan could handle it right now. There was something...vulnerable and animalistic about him. One wrong move and he could lash out.

He only hoped that Logan hadn't been in this dark, cramped closet for too long. Flashbacks of stories about his father locking him in closet whenever he got anything lower than an "A" came forward in his mind.

The blond crouch down and awkwardly waddled into the tiny room.

"Logan," he said softly. "It's me, Kendall."

He shook his head and gripped his hair to the point his knuckles turned white. Logan scooted back into the corner of the room, distancing himself from his friend.

Hurt flashed across his face, but Kendall buried that behind him. He knew Logan didn't mean it. He help out a hand, trying to coax his friend to him, kind of like a person to a cat.

Kendall smiled slightly at that comparison. He remembered when Carlos decided to give them each an animal "companion" and spent _hours _on the computer searching for the perfect animal.

Carlos decided himself was a lemur. James was a zebra (imagine his reaction at that). Kendall was an alpha wolf. And Logan was a cat, the most normal one out of all of them.

It was a funny little thing that was brought up every now and then, and the fact that Logan sounded like a cowboy.

He forced himself from the brighter past and into the less-than-present present.

"Logan," he whispered. "Please, it's Kendall. You're safe now."

Logan whimpered and choked out a strangled, "_No."_

"Come on," he urged gently. "It's just me. James and Carlos miss you...Please Logie," he pleaded. "Michael's gone." Logan flinched at the name. "He's gone and he can't hurt you anymore."

Kendall was close enough he could just reach out and pull the younger teen into a hug, but he held back, wanting him to come on his own free will.

He glanced up at him, dazed and not-all-there. Shaking fingers reached out, caked in blood, and brushed against the taller teen's cheek, eyes widening when he made contact with warm skin.

"K-K'nd'll?" He croaked out, words slurring

Tears threatened to fall as he nodded. "Yeah Logie. Kendall."

Logan pulled away slightly. "Y-You're r-real?" He asked hopefully.

"Y-Yeah," he could barely keep the tremor out of his own voice. "I'm real."

A ghost of a smile form on his lips, cracking them and making them bleed anew. "Good," he said clearly. And then let his eyes roll to the back of his head as he collapsed against his friend.

Kendall held him in his arms and sobbed in relief.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

Again, for the record, I've changed Logan's mom's job so...yeah.

* * *

><p>This is for the lovely<em> CheekyBrunette<em>, which is the only reason you people are getting this chapter right now. SHE FORCED ME TO!

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 10

Mikkal

* * *

><p>James found himself once again the waiting room.<p>

Waiting room was an accurate description for this place. That's all anyone every did in it. Wait to be seen. Wait for good news. Wait for bad news. Wait for half-good news, half-bad news. Wait. Wait. Wait. _Wait._

He ran his comb through his hair over and over again, watching the clock as minutes ticked by way too slowly. He was really beginning to hate analog clocks, the hands made it seem like everything was happening even slower than usual. At least with digital he couldn't see the second hand taunt him with every_ tick, tick, tick._

"James, snap out of it," Carlos nudged him. "You've been staring at that clock for half an hour."

"Really?" James resisted the urge to laugh hysterically. "It's only been that long? It's felt like three hours. When will they tell use something about Logan? Nothing went wrong, did it?"

He immediately regretted ever speaking when he saw Carlos bring his hand to his mouth to bite his nails. His cheeks stained with tears and breath hiccuping every now and then. If anyone was taking it hard it was Carlos; the care-free, innocent one who believed the best in everyone.

This was different than a hockey accident. Hell, this was different than a horse riding accident. This was the type of situation the guys had been trying to avoid ever since they moved to LA. And it only ever happened to Logan.

Poor Logie, he never gets a break.

Kendall was pacing just in front of him, his nerves frayed. James fiddled with his lucky comb and ran his nails over the teeth, trying to rid his mind of the image of Logan's bloody hands. What did he do to himself? That gory mess couldn't be because of the door...

Could it?

Carlos ran his hands up and down his arms, warming himself up from the sudden onslaught of cold that seeped into his skin. Around him nurses and doctors spoke to each other; people waiting either cried, moaned in pain, or said calming words to those injured. He hated it, he didn't want to be here.

He didn't want _Logan_ to be here.

"Logan Mitchell?" A doctor called.

James, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight all jumped to their feet. Katie clung to James' jacket, hiding behind her unofficial older brother's leg.

"I'm his guardian," Mama Knight said, hands wringing together. "We haven't been able to get a hold of his mother. She's somewhere in Europe."

He nodded solemnly. "Okay. I'm Dr. Johnson and I understand Logan was a patient here last week?" He checked his clipboard. "I've been informed of what happened and I'm happy to tell you the incompetent nurse has been fired."

James let out a sigh of relief and felt Carlos relax ever so slightly, it was only Kendall who remained rigid, waiting for news about their friend. He wrapped an arm around Katie as she tightened her grip on him.

"And Logan?" Kendall asked through gritted teeth.

Dr. Johnson sighed. "This is the hard part. Logan's dislocated arm is even worse now since he didn't take care of it. And his back is a mess. There's some liquid in his lungs, I'm guessing his kidnapper tried to drown him."

Kendall growled, if the bastard wasn't dead already he'd kill him.

"It looks like he's coming down with a mild case of pneumonia." Dr. Johnson cleared his throat and straightened his glasses. "His throat will be sore for quite a while, it seems he's been screaming for at least five days."

James squeezed his eyes shut and covered Katie's ears, they didn't want to hear this.

"Listen Doc," Kendall cut in. "I appreciate the fact you're telling this and everything, but I'm more worried about his hands and arms and his..." What was the word Detective Spencer used? "His...mental stability."

He sighed. "His hands are probably going to become infected and very painful," he said, straight to the point. "We took out as many splinters as we could, but the wood was old and molded. We've cleaned them the best we could. Some of his nails have been ripped off, they're bandaged now, but they're going to take a very long time to grow back.

"And it seems...he's clawed at his own arms. Likely he was having a fear induced Hallucination. The scratches are pretty deep and we have to watch those too for infection but they have a lower chance than his hands. Tell me...is Logan afraid of the dark?"

Mama Knight nodded. "Y-Yes," she whisper then cleared her throat. "Yes," she said louder. "When...when Logan was younger he was locked in a dark closet for getting bad grades. He's been afraid ever since."

He nodded. "That would explain the hallucinations, but even a person not afraid of the dark could have them. Locked for longer than 48 hours can do that to someone. His mental stability is something we have to worry about though."

Carlos' hand shot out and held onto James' wrist, squeezing tightly.

"We can't be too sure what's happened, he's too knocked out from the antibiotics we've give him and we can't give him morphine because it will interfere with his lungs getting better."

So he was still in pain...

"Logan needs to wake up in order to give an accurate reading on what his mind is like. Judging from his hallucination injures, I'd say it's pretty bad. But who knows? He could be stronger than I know and be better than I could ever hope, or something else could've happened that didn't leave a trace..."

"When can we see him?" Carlos blurted out.

Dr. Johnson surveyed him. "Right now, but you have to be quiet. And don't crowd. If you see him waking up, call me immediately. Don't try to fix him right away, that could make things worse."

Kendall nodded stiffly and followed the doctor to the ICU rooms, but, at the same time, he was still the leader as even his own mother followed him.

* * *

><p>Katie tried to hold back her tears, but seeing Logan in that hospital bed was enough to make them fall. She wiped them away angrily, she was suppose to be strong! Not a cry baby.<p>

...Not a cry baby...but her _brother_ was injured and possibly broken beyond repair...maybe she had the right to cry for once.

The tears fell even harder when Kendall bent down and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up and against his chest. She buried her face in his shirt, but couldn't keep her eyes off Logan.

His right cheek was one big bruise and another bruise on his dislocated arm (_even worse now_, her mind supplied) creeped out from underneath his hospital gown. An oxygen mask covered the bottom half his face, fogging with every labored breath, and his eyes twitched in the throes of a nightmare.

White bandages, turning a horrible pink, wrapped around each, individual finger and traveled up his arms, passed his elbows to halfway to his shoulders. Both arms were like that.

He looked...he looked like he was in _pain._

_ Well, duh, Katie, _she scolded herself. _What else would he be?_

"Is he going to be okay?" She couldn't help but ask.

Kendall held her closer. "I don't know, baby sister," he said softly in her ear. Too low for the guys to hear.

James was on the other side of the bed, hand lightly brushing greasy hair off Logan's forehead and watching him with kind, worried eyes. Carlos picked at the hospital bed sheets, keeping his eyes on Logan's face so he would be the first to know when he woke up.

Unfortunately, the first thing Logan did wasn't wake up.

He _screamed_.

Logan thrashed around in bed, crying out in both pain and fear. He attacked whatever was coming after him in his dream, hands moving to claw at his arms again only to have Kendall and James hold them down as Mama Knight called for Dr. Johnson.

"Logan!" Kendall yelled. "Logie! You're fine! Nothing's there! You're in the hospital, Michael's dead!" He said everything he could think of, hoping it would calm him down.

Logan fell limp against the bed, sobbing loudly and so hard he was choking on his tears. "No, please no," he whimpered. "Please stop!" His back arched and his struggles increased. "Stop. _STOP!"_

Dr. Johnson rushed in and pressed in a mild sedative, hating that he couldn't give him anything stronger because mixing the antibiotics with strong sedatives was bad.

Katie tackled Carlos into a hug, crying wildly. Carlos clung to her like a security blanket.

Michael Morgan got off too easy.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

I'm so mean to Logan

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 11

Mikkal

* * *

><p>His throat burned as he lost the little he had eaten in the last week. Carlos' only life line right now was white, porcelain, and oh-so-very solid. He had his arms around the toilet in the mockery of a hid as he rested his head on the seat, panting heavily.<p>

James rubbed his back soothingly, and a twang of guilt hit the tall teen's heart dead on. James should be comforting _Logan, _not him...even though comfort was exactly what he needed right now.

Watching Logan thrash around like that, screaming...begging...was a nightmare come to life and ten times worse then any nightmare the guys ever had.

* * *

><p>"Mrs. Knight." Dr. Johnson caught her attention after Carlos bolted out of the room with James close behind. "May I speak to you privately?"<p>

She was torn between wanting to know what he wanted and going to her son and daughter. She made a noise at the back of her throat and entered the hallway with him, he closed the room door behind them.

"What is it?" She asked, worry evident in her voice. "Is something wrong?"

Dr. Johnson frowned, not helping the slightest. "With Michael Morgan's record I'm required to perform certain...tests."

Mrs. Knight grabbed the end of her sleeves. That didn't sound..._right._

"I performed and rape kit but the results were negative." He caused panic and panic and eased it with one blow. "But I can't rule out any other sexual abuse.

She struggled to breath. Oh God..._Logan..._

* * *

><p>He sent Katie out a few minutes ago, to find the guys and maybe grab some apple juice (she hated orange juice). Kendall found himself alone with a basically comatose Logan. He gentle fiddles with the line dripping from the fluids bag, reading the label on it absent mindedly.<p>

His heart was racing from earlier and he wanted was for Logan to wake up with a smile and leave it at that.

He wasn't sure if he was being selfish for that. Was he only wishing that for himself? So he didn't have to see Logan go through this?

A small groan interrupted his thoughts and his gaze shot down to lock with dazed and empty chocolate brown eyes. He jumped back when he saw Logan was awake, but didn't do anything other than that.

Those eyes traveled around the room, taking everything in. He glanced at Kendall again and furrowed his eyebrows. "Ken...dall?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, Logie." Deja Vu hit him from when he first found his friend. "It's Kendall."

He looked around again. "Where's...James...and...Carlos?" There was too much pausing between each word, it made him worry even more.

"They had to leave for a moment," he explained. "Take a small break."

Logan nodded and closed his eyes again, but didn't fall asleep. "Hurts," he mumbled.

That sent Kendall into action, he pressed the call button over and over as he kept his eyes on Logan. If he dared to look away for one moment then Logan was going to disappear once again and there was nothing he could do about it.

Dr. Johnson came in first, his mother not too far behind. "Logan Mitchell?"

Logan looked at him warily, but not scared. "Yes?"

He sighed. "Good, you know your name. What else can you tell me?" He took out his clipboard and a pen to start taking notes. The doctor didn't want to push to far, but he wanted the basics for the detectives before they came in to officially question him.

"Tell you?" He repeated. He looked at his hands and flexed them experimentally, hissing when pain spiked up his fingers. "I... don't know," he finally said. "The last thing I remember is...is telling Carlos that I'm going to be fine...why do I hurt so much?"

* * *

><p>When the boys were younger it was just Kendall, Carlos, and James—no Logan. Only when second grade was almost halfway through did a strange, new kid show up with his smarts and his cowboy accent.<p>

He was scared and timid, but the guys didn't let that deter them from talking to him. No one in their class was like that, having spent first grade and kindergarten and pre-school with them. They made everyone talk to them like they were best friends, no matter how much they didn't want to.

Anyway, Logan was forced to sit next to Kendall and he didn't really sit next to him. He moved his chair so he was pressed against the side not touching Kendall's desk, scared beyond belief.

"Hi!" Kendall said happily, practically shaking in excitement. He _loved _meeting new people.

Logan didn't want to answer, but Kendall just had that _pull _that made him answer with a whispered, "Hi." He never looked up from the math worksheet given to him when he walked in, already on problem five.

"Whoa!" Carlos exclaimed, leaning around his much larger friend. "How did you do that?"

He finally looked up, showing off his chocolate brown doe eyes. "Do what?" He asked shyly.

The small pointed at his paper. "That math. I don't get it."

He grinned and blushed slightly. "I...I can show you?"

"Really?" Carlos' eyes lit up. He shoved Kendall out of his seat. "You wanna be friends?" He asked.

Logan faltered for a moment before he smiled brightly. "Sure."

"You should smile more," James said suddenly. He leaned over both Kendall and Carlos to peer into the new student's face. "It makes you look better, you have a nice smile."

He backed up a little, startled, but didn't say anything to that comment.

From that moment on, they were best friends.

* * *

><p>James and Kendall never got bullied, may be because they were bigger or may be more confident, but Logan and Carlos did.<p>

Well, it was mostly Logan.

While Carlos was only bullied in their younger years because of his larger, rather low-middle class family (they weren't middle class, but they weren't low class either), he eventually became popular like the older two. Logan was bullied because he had no dad (Kendall didn't, but that's because he was TDY all the time), he was really pale, was really smart, was shy, and wasn't every active except for hockey.

It didn't make any sense really. The guys couldn't see anything wrong with him at all. Why did people do stuff like that?

Kendall was always the person Logan went to when he was having bullying problems, only because his trust in the older teen knew no bounds. Maybe it was because Kendall was the first person to talk to him and get him out of his self-induced (or so people though) shell.

So he was always there for him. When Jimmy Nixon created the most hear breaking, angst-ridden situation and made Logan doubt himself even more, he was there. When Jake King almost _killed _him with a stupid "non-life threatening" prank, it was Kendall who was there to pick up the pieces. When the secret about Logan's dad was finally revealed, he was there through the nightmares.

Kendall was there for everything, he was the leader and the protector.

But how was he suppose to face this with a strong will?

..._Why do I hurt so much?..._


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

* * *

><p>Read CheekyBrunette's things! She is amazing and is promoting this story like the awesome person she is. Read Some Wild Behavior, that is one of the most amazing stories ever. And Halfway There! READ THEM!<p>

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 12

Mikkal

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><p>Kendall choked and covered his mouth, trying to muffle the noise so Logan wouldn't hear. Did Logan say...what he thought he just say? Granted, at least he remembered <em>something<em> and didn't have total amnesia, but losing 5 days?

Especially five days of torture?

Luckily Logan didn't hear Kendall and was just listening as Dr. Johnson explained, in simple words, that he had been taken five days ago and only recently had been found. His hands were hurt terribly and may become infected, and he's come down with pneumonia but he should be on the road to recovery.

For some reason he never questioned who took him, what happened in those five days, or what happened with Michael Morgan...after he was told it was the man who messed with his bit...

This was all so confusing.

And Kendall couldn't figure out what happened to the old Logan, the one who would immediately be suspicious and questioning what the hell was going on.

This Logan was too quiet, too timid, too much like he was when he first moved to Minnesota. It was like...he remembered partly what happened, but his personality reverted back to 7 years old.

"When can I go home?" Logan asked shyly.

Dr. Johnson looked like he didn't want to answer that. "In a few days," he answered. "When we're sure you're not going to come down with an infection."

He nodded mutely and laid back down, making sure he never made eye contact with the doctor. He always made eye contact as much as he could with people he trusted, and Kendall was glad to see that hadn't changed.

"Where are James and Carlos?" Logan asked again, sounding so much like a child it hurt.

Kendall brushed his hand through his greasy hair. "They're coming. We're going to stay with you tonight, okay?"

He nodded and smiled slightly at him, but it was wavering and broken. Kendall had a feeling that Logan had no idea why he was scared or why he was suddenly so meek, but he would bet his hockey stick that Logan was feeling safer with those feelings.

Having Kendall close by helped.

* * *

><p>Since this time Logan was in ICU the guys could stay with him over night.<p>

Carlos was looking worse for wear and soft trembles coursed through his body every now and then. James was unnaturally pale as he thought back to what Kendall told him as he watched Logan sleep restlessly.

"Why can't he remember?" Carlos whimpered.

Kendall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The doctor said he's blocking it out, something about trauma. He doesn't want to remember so he's not going to and something's telling him not to ask about it."

"What," James' voice shook. "What's going to happen when he does?"

"I...I don't know."

Something bad, really bad.

Logan sobbed and whimpered, tightening his grip on the hospital sheets despite the pain. Everyone held their breath as they waited for another outburst but all that happened was that Logan shook violently and shot his eyes open.

"No!" He gasped and looked around wildly, not seeing what was there but what was in his mind.

Kendall was the first to take control and place a gentle hand on his arm, just above the bandages. "It's okay Logan, you're safe."

He stared at him, not sure what was going on, and then, suddenly, tears poured down his cheeks. A sob choked his breath and he clung to Kendall's shirt.

"What's going on?" He wailed. "Why can't I remember? Why am I so scare?"

Kendall tried his best to provide as much comfort as he could, but he was falling short. How was he suppose to answer that without completely ruining Logan's fragile mind state?

He held him close and rubbed circles on his back, frowning when he felt heat through the thin cotton shirt. Kendall pulled him away and looked closely at his face, noting the flushed cheeks and the fever glazed eyes.

Oh crap...

"James," he said softly. "Call Dr. Johnson."

He quickly ran out the room to find the doctor, leaving Carlos to clutch the arms of the chair with white knuckles.

Logan suddenly let go of his shirt, like he was just realizing it hurt too much to hold on anymore, and looked at him in confusion. "Kendall, what's wrong?"

Kendall smile gently and felt his forehead as causally as he could. "You feeling okay there Logie?"

He nodded slightly. "Yeah, I mean. The best I could be feeling right now."

Dr. Johnson walked in, looking worried, and smile at his patient. "Hey Logan. I'm just going to check your arms, okay?"

Logan looked away from him and mumbled a quite "Okay."

His smile got softer as he unwrapped the pink tinged bandages from his arm, the smile turning over into a frown when he noticed the red, irritated skin around his scratch and the odd amount of blood coming from the wounds. There should not be that much blood at this stage.

"Well, it looks like your arms have become infected," he said, technically telling all of them. "But don't worry, because Kendall's caught it early we can treat it. You'll be healed in no time."

He nodded. "Okay," he said again.

The doctor patted the bed, careful not to touch him at all, and walked out to got fetch even more antibiotics for the poor teen.

Logan glanced at Kendall, for some reason he never looked at James and Carlos despite him wanting them here. "Kendall, can you tell me what happened?"

All he felt was panic. He wasn't suppose to be asking that!

He cleared his throat. "I can't Logie. I don't know what happened, you're the only one who does."

"But...I don't." He frowned. "I'm tired," he said, changing the subject.

"You can sleep Logie," James spoke up, his hand back to cupping the back of Carlos' neck in a comforting gesture. "You're safe with us."

He _finally _make eye contact with the hazel eyed teen and a ghost of a smile appeared on his tired, paler than usual face. "Thanks James," he whispered before laying down and closing his eyes.

* * *

><p>He was having another nightmare, but this one involved no noise. His mouth was opened wide in silent screams and James decided this was the worse, watching his best friend writhe in so much agony but never making a sound.<p>

The grip Carlos had on his arm was painful but solid, he was there and he was stable. Both of them were each other's anchors as Kendall worked with Logan.

They wanted to help, but for some reason Logan wouldn't _trust _them. It hurt, but understandable. James just wished there was a little bit of that old Logan in there, the one who trusted everyone in their family and who would sprout out annoying facts about all of the drugs he was getting.

Like how the steroids he was getting for the pneumonia weren't the steroids idiot sport jocks used and they made your eyes sensitive as hell.

He wanted _Logan _to tell him that, not some random nurse who could care less about him.

If he had any power in the world he would want the power to turn back time, back to before Griffin ever suggested the stupid horseback riding thing.

* * *

><p>He wanted to help his friends, they just looked so guilty and hurt, and he couldn't help but feel like it was his fault. Why couldn't he remember anything? It couldn't be <em>that <em>bad, could it?

Logan watched his friends sleep in awkward positions. Carlos sat in a chair, legs stretched out in front of him and head leaned back with his mouth wide open in soft snores. James had his arm wrapped around one of the legs of aforementioned chair and his head rested on Carlo's hip, his hair was a mess and there were heavy bags under his eyes.

If Logan felt bad earlier, then seeing James not care as much about himself made it even worse.

The comforting weight on his shoulder (the non-injured one, didn't he dislocate one before? Why hasn't anyone mentioned it? Guess it wasn't as bad as before...) told him the Kendall was still there, thank God. He didn't know what he would do if Kendall wasn't here.

Kendall sat in the other chair, his back bent in a uncomfortable position. One hand rested on his shoulder while the other one wrapped around Logan's stomach, keeping him place so he wouldn't disappear.

He smiled softly. He felt safe here, with his friends surrounding him, but he didn't want to go to sleep. Sleeping meant nightmares, ones he didn't understand. They were terrifying and he didn't think he could go through another one of those without completely breaking down...

All he wanted to do was remember, just so he wouldn't hurt his friends anymore. Just sleeping hurt his friends, his nightmares made him a pathetic mess while he slept. James looked on the verge of tears and Carlos was _sobbing _ when he woke up, Kendall was the only one who was still strong.

But even he looked like he was about to break.

Logan flexed his hands experimentally, hissing as quietly as he could when they spiked. Why did he keep doing that? They hurt every time, it's not like that was going to change.

What the hell happened?


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

* * *

><p>!IMPORTANT!<p>

Soon I'm going to be gone for nineteen days as I go to Europe for a People to People thing. So, guess what. I won't be updating. This will NOT be the last chapter I post before I go, but this is just a fair warning. I will let you know at each chapter that I'll be leaving...just in case, ya know, you forget.

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><p>Author Note: I had pneumonia before, a really bad case, so I know for the most part how it feels and the basic treatment for it. (That's why the steroids line was used last chapter) the only thing is that I'm not sure what everything's called so sorry.<p>

* * *

><p>CHEEKYBRUNETTE! Okay people? Read CheekyBrunette!<p>

* * *

><p>And my hair stuff smells good, like watermelon candy<p>

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 13

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Kendall woke up with a start and couldn't figure out why he was awake until he saw blank, glazed brown eyes staring back at him.<p>

"Hi," Logan whispered.

He raised an eyebrow. "Hi," he said back. "How ya feelin'?" Okay, stupid question.

"Do you hate me?" Logan blurted out.

Kendall reeled back, shocked beyond belief. "What? No, of course not! Why would I hate you Logie?" That was a ridiculous question, he could never hate Logan!

He found his bandaged hands very interesting. "Because I can't remember," he mumbled. "And I'm causing you guys so much pain."

He grabbed his shoulder gently and shook him slightly. "Logan, _if _I was to ever hate you that'd be the _stupidest _reason to. You can't remember 'cause it's scary, none of us blame you for wanting to forget."

Logan met his eyes, but Kendall felt as if he was really looking at him. "Do you want me to remember?"

Tough question.

"Yes and no," he admitted. "No because there has to be a reason you're forgetting, and that reason can't be good. Yes because I'm tired of not seeing Logan anymore. Right now you're _Logie_, we want _Logan_." He hoped his friend understood what he was talking about.

He hugged himself. "I don't know what to do," he whispered.

Kendall leveled him with a solemn gaze, taking in the dark bags under his eyes that seemed to be worse than when they found him. "Have you been getting any sleep?" Fighting off an infection _and_ pneumonia while not sleeping was usually considered a bad idea.

He shook his head, teeth coming out to bite his lower lip. "I get nightmares," he whimpered.

"May be that's you trying to remember," Kendall said softly.

"Logan," James said. "If you want to remember so badly, sleep. If anything happens, you know we'll be right here."

Logan reached out a took the brunette's hand, tangling their fingers together. "Please stay," he sounded so _young_.

James tightened his hand and sat on the edge of the hospital bed; Carlos laying just a little bit in front of him, arms wrapped around the raven's legs in a protective hold. The youngest teen buried his face against Logan's thigh.

"We're not going anywhere Logie," Carlos assured, muffled.

He sighed and curled against Kendall, letting his friends' presence lull him to a restless sleep.

James' free hand ran through the younger teen's hair, trying to chase away the nightmares that were going to come any minute now. Perhaps seconds.

"Do you think he's going to remember?" He asked their designated leader.

Kendall nodded reluctantly. "He's stubborn. As much as his heart's telling him no his brain's going to force it."

"Won't that make it worse?"

"I hope not."

* * *

><p>Something jabbed him in the side and he went flying off the bed. Carlos met the ground with a thud, shoulder already beginning to throb. His eye shot up to see James and Kendall also pushed off the bed, but James' face was white in pain as Logan's grip on his hand got tighter and tighter.<p>

Logan thrashed around, in the midst of another nightmare. But this one was different. There wasn't any visual differences, it was something in the air.

This wasn't just some nightmare.

"Don't touch me!" Logan shrieked. His eyes flickered under his eyelids. "Let me go! _Let me go!_"

"Logan!" Carlos moved to wake him up but he was held back. "Kendall, what are you doing? We have to...We have to wake him up!"

Kendall shook his head. "I don't think we should," but he sounded unsure.

"Help me!" Oh _God_. Tears streamed down Logan's cheeks as he pleaded and begged for someone to save him. "Kendall? Kendall _please_! Help me!"

He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. Logan was calling for _him_ to save him. How many times had he screamed that before he realized no one was coming? How...how could he still trust Kendall after that?

"_Now_ can we wake him up?" James demanded angrily. He didn't even wait for the blond to nod (which he did half a second late) before he was shaking the traumatized teen's shoulder.

Logan shot up with a harsh, cut off gasp and started crying so hard he was hiccuping more than sobbing. He flinched away when James tried to comfort him and when Kendall tried as well he flinched even worse.

"I called you!" He wailed. "I called you and you never came! _Why didn't you come?_"

That kicked Kendall right in the stomach. He stumbled back, just barely catching himself on one of the chairs.

"Carlos!" James yelled, panicked. "Call the doctor, he's turning blue!"

And he was. Logan was choking on his tears, lips turning a nasty blue and face ashen gray. His chest heaved with shallow breathes as his liquid filled lungs refused him enough oxygen.

James rubbed his back soothingly, Kendall to frozen to move. "Come on Logan, just breath. Everything's fine. We're here, remember? We said we'd be here and we kept our promise. Come on Logan."

Logan attached himself to James waist, finally letting go of his hand. He gave one deep, shuddering breath before whimpering. "Don't leave me. Please, please don't leave me."

"I won't Logie."

Dr. Johnson ran into the room and tried to move James away, but the teen refused to. He was forced to work around him, replacing Logan's nasal cannula with a full on oxygen mask and running medicated fog through it.

"Logan, I want to you take a deep breath for me, okay?" Dr. Johnson asked.

He nodded slightly and obeyed, talking a deep, halting breath, but making it all the way through.

"Good, good," he said. "I just want you to relax, try not to exert yourself. Okay?"

Logan sobbed lightly and whispered, "Okay."

Dr. Johnson patted James on the shoulder before heading out of the room.

Kendall stared at his three brothers as James and Carlos let Logan leaned on their stable shoulders. How could he do the same as them? How could Logan still trust him?..oh wait, he didn't. He flinched, flinching doesn't usually mean trust.

He couldn't face Logan anymore, not because he was hurt that Logan didn't trust him, but because he wasn't there to protect him. Logan shouldn't trust him if Kendall couldn't protect him this time, sure he protected him a dozen other times, but one time was enough to ruin it.

"K-Kendall?" Logan stuttered.

He looked up to see Logan watching him, looking lost even with James and Carlos surrounding him. Kendall moved forward at the small smile he was given.

"I'm sorry for what I said," Logan murmured.

"Don't be." He hugged him tightly. "Do you remember anything?"

"A little," he admitted. "Can we talk about it later?"

"Of course Logie."

The four of them sat in silence with nothing else to say until Logan was ready to talk...if he ever was.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

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><p>Sorry for the delay, I'm working on something else (several something else) and got distracted.<p>

Okay here's the deal: I'm leaving in 6 Days for Europe (and I have no Host family, thank God! That's for CHEEKYBRUNETTE (read her stuff, she's brilliant)) but I'm leaving tomorrow for my grandparents and I don't think I can update there because I'm not bringing my computer (I'm going straight from their house to the airport). But I'll try, okay?

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 14

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Someone pawed at his shoulder, like a cat or something, and Kendall woke to fine himself face to face with Logan, whose face was shadowed from the little light coming through their bedroom window and from the light that was on in the bathroom to help ward off nightmares.<p>

"L'gan?" He slurred, half-asleep.

Logan let out a little whimper and whispered, "I had a nightmare."

Obviously that light wasn't working.

That instantly woke him up and he moved aside, raising the covers so Logan could settle next to him. Kendall looked over the edge of his bed to see Carlos and James still sound asleep on the floor, meaning the nightmare wasn't scream inducing or the screams were silent. They were silent far too often. Logan curled up next to him, slowing his breath so it was almost inaudible.

This was the first night Logan was allowed home, and Carlos and James refused to stay in their own rooms and Mrs. Knight would not let Logan sleep in the living room. So Kendall and Logan slept in their own beds while the other two took the floor and some sleeping bags.

"You gonna be okay?" Kendall asked.

He picked at the blond's sleeve with bandaged hands, thinking about his answer. "I think so, I just..." he trailed off.

Kendall wrapped his arms around his broken friend carefully and protectively, wincing at how skinny he was. "You just what? Logan, you don't have to tell us anything if you don't want to."

Logan sighed. "I do want to tell you." He stared at his hands, they were still covered in white bandages but that was only to protect the tender skin. They were still healing but the infection was practically gone and the pneumonia was almost gone. He was just stuck on an inhaler for a little bit longer.

"Can you remember?" Kendall asked hopefully. He's had his suspicions for awhile, but Logan never confirmed them.

"Yeah."

That simple word made the hope burst and make dread come to his chest. Logan remembered! And admitted it!...but at what cost?

"Do...Do you want to talk about it?"

His answer was silence, Logan refused to meet his eyes. Kendall sighed and ran his hand through raven locks, trying to urge him into talking with so little words. In the slight darkness he could see James stirring and Carlos already blinking sleepily at them.

"Logie? Kendall?"

Ever since the horse accident it seemed Logan's name had permanently become Logie in the younger teen's eyes.

Logan gave him a shaky smile. "Hey Carlitos, sorry I woke you."

He shook his head. "You didn't wake me up." He smacked James' leg, waking the older boy up. "This dude kicked me in the head. My helmet can only do so much." He patted his helmet, forcing a small chuckle.

Logan didn't laugh, his smile fading. Instead he just stared intensely at the Latino. Carlos glanced behind him at Kendall, who just shrugged a little. James yawned and rubbed his eyes before crawling over and leaning against Kendall's bed.

"He called Carlos mentally handicapped, when he first took me," Logan said suddenly, still staring at Carlos. "...So I yelled at him."

Carlos tensed, eyes welling up with tears. "You...you did?" He didn't know whether to feel guilty (obviously Logan got punished for that) or thankful (he had to be a really great friend (brother really) to defend him at the risk of punishment).

He nodded and accepted the fact that Carlos wrapped a hand around his thin wrist in a loose grip to keep him there if nothing less. He wasn't going to jerk away, he's been doing that too often now. Logan was going to change that.

"What did he do after that?" James asked quietly.

Logan closed his eyes, pain evident on his face. "He locked me in the bathroom," he answered.

Kendall shook his head and gently scratched Logan's head with his fingers, keeping them through his hair. "He did more than that," he said simply. "What did he do?"

"Stuck my head underwater," he replied bluntly. "Until I was half-passed out and half-drowned."

Carlos stifled a sob at the bluntness and tightened his grip to the point were Logan hissed in pain and he let go like it was fire. "Sorry! Oh Logie, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay Carlos," he said through clenched teeth. "Really." He rubbed the sore (well, sorer) area. "I'm sorry for for saying it like that."

"Logan, you don't have to tiptoe about us, just say what you want to say. We'll listen." James was actually lying. He wanted nothing more than for Logan to break it to them gently, but this was all about Logan, not them. If he needed to say it bluntly then they would let him, even if it hurt them.

He looked at them with puppy brown eyes and tackled James in a hug, staying half on the bed. James instinctively wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Kendall scrambled off his bed to pull Logan completely off and hold on to him too.

"He said he could k-kill you guys" he said into James' neck, shoulders shaking, but he wasn't crying. Not yet. "But then he said he wasn't going to and that he was going to c-condition me."

Carlos took his hand carefully. "What does conditioning mean?" He didn't think he wanted to know the definition.

"It means he was going to change Logie," Kendall said, horror creeping up in his voice. "He was going to do things to him to make him different." Weak? Submissive?...Dangerous?

James looked down at Logan, wide eyed. The same horror Kendall was feeling made it hard for him to breathe. This. Wasn't. Happening.

No it wasn't. Logie was back. He wasn't going to change.

Logan nodded, not moving away from the brunette. "He l-locked me in a c-closet." A tear slid down his cheek. "Said when I came out I'd be a b-better person."

"But..." Carlos was at a loss of words. "But you're already the greatest person ever!" He gushed.

He smiled sadly. "Obviously I'm not," he said quietly. He wrapped an arm around Carlos' neck and pulled him into a four way hug. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, building the courage to continue.

Kendall squeezed the back of his neck, providing some of his own confidence for the younger boy.

"He left me there for...I guess a day...I wasn't wearing a watch so..." He looked at his wrist sadly, his mom gave him the watch right before he went to LA and she went to Europe. "...I'm not too sure. Do you think I can get a new one?...It wouldn't be the same, would it? Do you think my mom will get one...from Europe? I guess I have to start using my phone...if Gustavo lets me. Does any—?"

"Logan," James cut him off. "You're stalling...What happened?"

"...He took me out it...a day later..." His breath hiccuped. "He... didn't do a-anything to_ me_...he just...he m-made me do things...t-things to _him_." More tears fell. "I fought back. I did. I really did." He sobbed. "Please believe me."

"Oh Logie, why wouldn't we believe you?" Kendall choked out, his embrace growing tighter around his friend. Maybe if he never let go then nothing bad would ever happen to him again.

"He said..." his voice cracked, "...He said no one would be-believe me if I told any-anyone."

Carlos brought him into a hug, letting him cry against his chest. It was a bit awkward since Kendall never let him go, but they made it work. "We believe you," the youngest teen said. "You wouldn't lie about this. Logie, we believe you."

"How... how many times?" James asked.

_How many times did he violate you? How many times did he take your innocence away? _

Will he always be the same Logan they know and love even after telling them this, getting it off his chest?

He shook his head. "I-I don't know...I lost track. I don't even know how many days...He would always lock me back up when I was d-done. I didn't want to. I swea—." He paused, tensing.

Suddenly he shot from their arms and into the bathroom, doubling over the toilet as he lost everything he ever had in his stomach. Tears dripped off his nose as he heaved painfully, his breath catching. His fingers curled over the edge, the knuckles of his fingers turning pink.

James and Carlos crowded around the entrance, Carlos using all of his willpower not to run to his bed and dive under the covers. Kendall inched into the room, slowly and carefully.

"Logan."

Logan shoved Kendall away as he leaned against the wall, wiping his mouth shakily. "Stay away from me," he rasped out, brokenly. "Just...stay away."

"You've gotta stop pushing us away!" James shouted, slamming a fist into the wall and not caring if he woke up Mama Knight and Katie. "We're trying to help you! Let. Us. Help. You." A shattered sob shook him from his anger and guilt clawed at his chest and stung his eyes. "Logan," he breathed out. "I'm sorry."

Logan glared at him and stood up slowly. "Stop apologizing!" He shrieked. "Stop apologizing to me! Stop feeling sorry for me. It's my own fucking fault." Carlos flinched at the swear word. "If I weren't so pathetic. Dirty! Weak! I wouldn't be in this mess." He began to scratch at his arms frantically. "I'm so fucking _tainted_! So dirty. I can f-feel h-him _everywhere_." He sobbed relentlessly. "I just want him off!"

Kendall caught his wrists and pulled them away from his arms so he would stop harming himself. "Logan," he said quietly, but firmly. "You are _not _dirty, or tainted, or weak, or pathetic. You are one of the strongest guys I know."

"That didn't help me fight him off," he muttered, going to a defensive mode. He looked at Kendall with wide, over-bright eyes. "Kendall...I can...I can still _taste _him."

Carlos started crying and James gasped. But Kendall did the worst, he involuntarily flinched away, hands falling from his friend's wrist.

A hurt deeper than physical pain and deeper than an emotional pain cause by someone he didn't even know appeared in his eyes. He backed away from Kendall slowly.

He quickly recovered. "No, that's not it. Logan—."

Logan shook his head mutely. "Don't," he whispered, voice hard. "Just don't." He turned and ran out the other side of the Jack and Jill bathroom that connected the boys' rooms together, grabbing James' jacket on his way out.

James had absolutely no protest to that.

They all winced when the front door slammed shut. Kendall buried his face in his hands.

How could he do that?

James glared at him. "Kendall!"

"I don't know!" He shouted. "I was just surprised! It had nothing to do with the fact...with the fact... Oh God, _Logan_. How could someone be that sick?"

The brunette grinned hatefully, fire burning in his eyes. "It just makes you wanna bring him back to life just to kill him all over again, doesn't it?"

His nod was his answer.

"Boys? What's going on?" Mama Knight walked in, yawning and rubbing her eyes. They widened when she got a good look at them. "Where's Logan?"

"He ran out," Carlos answered wobbly. "We were talking and something happened and he ran out."

Kendall straightened up and grabbed some shoes and a jacket. "We're going to go look for him."

"Cell phones and flashlights," his mom demanded. "It's two in the morning, you have about four hours until the sun rises. Call me every hour. I'll stay here in case he calls."

"He didn't take his cell phone," James informed her. He didn't take any shoes either.

"Then I'm staying here in case he comes back." She glanced at the room she shared with Katie. "I can't leave Katie alone here, and I can't let her go look too."

Kendall kissed her cheek. "We'll find him, I promise." And that was promise he intended to fulfill quickly.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

* * *

><p>I brought my computer to my grandparents so we're all good on the Eastern front...for a couple more days.<p>

Should I feel horrible for what I'm doing to Logan?

I'm in love with Katie in this chapter, by the way.

And Logan's not blubbery because...well, because. The human switches emotions and feelings very quickly, so this isn't odd. It's normal.

Second to last chapter? Maybe, or the third to the last. Fourth to last? Depends on what else I have planned. Muwahahahahahah.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 15

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Katie, surprisingly enough, was the one who found him...even though she wasn't suppose to be out. It's called having a slight nightmare (slight compared to Logan's) and wanted to go to her big brother for comfort, and then hearing the whole story.<p>

It made her sick. Her four brothers (that's right _four_) were the sweetest people she knew. Who the hell had the right to damage Logan like that?

No one, that's it. No one had that right.

She walked up to him slowly, but not quietly. When Logan first got to the Palm Woods and was walking through the lobby, Tyler popped out of his hiding spot and scared Logan so bad he almost had a panic attack. Whenever the guys were too quiet when walking up to him the apartment Logan went paler than usual and panicked.

"Logan," she said, voice wavering just a little.

He jumped anyway. Logan glanced at her before looking back up at the stars. "Katie," he said almost normally. "Aren't you suppose to be in the apartment?"

She laid down next to him. "Shouldn't you?"

He didn't answer, but she didn't really expect him too. Slowly she curled up next to him, craving the body heat, and he wrapped his arm around her. Out of all of them, Kendall and Logan were the only ones who still treated her like a little kid. It was nice to bring down the walls every now and then.

"That looks like a rabbit," she said, pointing out a cluster of stars. "And that looks like a dollar sign."

Logan laughed quietly. "You always have money on the brain..." His laughter turned into sobs and he buried his head in Katie's shoulder, clinging to her.

She rubbed circles on his back, whispering comforting words that may or may not be working. "Everything's going to be okay. Kendall didn't know what to do. He feels horrible for flinching away."

He shook his head and pressed in deeper into her collar bone. "No," he rasped. "He did exactly what he should do for a tainted person like me." He suddenly shoved her away. "And you shouldn't be around me, I'm corrupting you."

Katie just laughed softly and pulled him back. "I hate to break it to you Loganator, but FOX corrupted me a long time ago." She patted his head. "Why won't you let them help you?" She murmured.

Logan shuddered. "No one can help me," he whispered. "I just keep seeing him, every time I close my eyes he's...he's unzipping his pants and telling me...and telling me to _suck_." He sobbed. "I didn't want to. I fought back with tooth and nail, but he threatened to _kill_ you guys...and I knew that he would do that...He'd do anything to keep me there and compliant."

Tear stung her eyes and she hugged him tightly. "Logan, you know that's the bravest thing anyone's ever done."

"It doesn't feel like it," he muttered.

"Not only has FOX corrupted me," she said. "But it's taught me that you're never going to feel brave about this. You're always going to feel weak, and pathetic, and dirty, and tainted." He tighten his grip around her. She tapped his forehead and titled his chin so they were eye to eye. "You just have to remember that it's not true. Think of it as a girl suffering from anorexia. She thinks the fattest cow, no, fattest whale on earth when in reality she's so skinny you can count every rib in her chest."

"I'm not following."

"Of course." She rolled her eyes playfully. "When it comes to facts and figures your smart but when it comes to psychology you don't understand," she teased, pleased when that got a smile from him.

"What do you know?" He countered jokingly. "You're only ten."

Katie sombered. "Logan. You're not dirty or tainted. You and Carlos are the purest people I know. The fact that you don't hide from the guys just because they're male, like Michael." He flinched at the name. "Means you still look at the world as mostly good. Tainted people can't do that, dirty people can't either." She looked back at the sky, light blue peaking from behind the tree line. "And despite the fact that you say you're broken, don't deny it I've heard you say it, you're not. If you were broken you'd be surrounded by white walls and getting regular drugs to keep you mentally stable. The fact that you aren't, means you're not pathetic or weak."

Logan was silent for a while before he let out a shuddering breath. "Why did Kendall flinch? He's suppose to be there for me, isn't he?"

"He is, but it's kinda hard to stay perfectly calm when you're best friend admits he can still "taste" that bastard."

"Watch your language." But he didn't use as much force as he normally would, too busy thinking. Eventually he heaved a sigh and stood up. "Come on, we should probably head back. Mama Knight is going to kill both of us.

"Probably only me, you have a good reason."

"So do you."

Logan crouched down and exposed his back invitingly.

She hesitated. "Didn't the doc say you hurt your back, and your shoulder?"

"They're fine now, plus you're light."

Katie climbed onto his back carefully and wrapped her arms around his shoulders loosely.

"Now don't choke me," he joked. "I know how strong you are."

She smirked and pretended to choke him, making all of the noises for it. Of all the things the sicko did to Logan, almost drowning him was the only asphyxiation he tried. Which was good, the fake choking was a common occurrence between the two. Both would hate it if that was taking away from them.

"Logan!"

"Logan?"

"Logie!"

They could hear all three of their brother's voices as they made their way over to the Palm Woods. Flashlights were still on even though the sun was risen enough to see pretty well.

"Over here," Katie called. She slid off his back just in time for Kendall to practically barrel him over in his haste to hug him tightly, proving that he didn't think Logan was tainted at all.

"I'm so sorry Logie," Kendall cried. "I didn't mean to, you just...surprised me. I don't think less of you because I this. You're my brother and my best friend, you're everything to me. To us!"

Logan wrapped his arms around the blond's waist and held him close, burying his head in his chest. "I believe you," he murmured, muffled. "I do." He pushed him away and looked at all three of them. "Before you ask me anything, he didn't do anything else. I was just locked in the closet for the rest of the time...until you found me."

James looked from him to Katie. "What did you guys talk about?"

She shrugged. "The FOX Network...it helps to make a connection with the innocent." She shot a grin at Logan. "To make them calm."

He shook his head. "That thing has corrupted her."

"So, are you fixed?" Carlos asked.

"Not even close," he said. "I've just...come to terms with a few things. That doesn't stop the images or the nightmares. Or the fact I can't stand the dark or strange people." He shuddered and earned another hug.

"Come on," James urged. "Let's head back in." He wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders and Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan's waist. Both Katie and Carlos walked backwards into the semi-dark lobby, keeping a close eye on him.

Unfortunately none of them saw the shadow in the corner. Guitar Dude strummed a couple strings and sang "Hey," scaring the crap out of all of them.

Nothing was compared to the way Logan reacted. He leaped back, his back slamming into a pillar. His face turned gray and tears poured down his cheeks.

"Dude," Guitar Dude asked. "You okay?"

Logan didn't say a word, his eyes blank, hands shaking. His mouth moved, though, with silent, mute words. His fingers came up and brushed against his lips, a loud sob tearing through them.

"Logan," Kendall whispered. "Are...are you there?" A rather odd question, but one he felt he should ask.

There was no recognition, no spark in his eyes that let them know he was there.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer. I own Alice Tudor...sort of.

* * *

><p>Alice Tudor, in name and appearance only, was my delegation manager. She was exactly one word: AMAZING! We all miss her.<p>

And thank you CheekyBrunnette for summing up the last chapter with a perfect word "...INTENSE!"

I'm home! Man, that trip was amazing! But if I never see another dish of chicken curry again it'll be too soon. And if anyone see's British spellings let me know, sorry about it.

Anyone else love James' dance in the music video for "If I Ruled the World"? I know I did! I love those guys!

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 16

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Silence filled the lobby, and a panic so stifling, so thick he could taste it on his tongue. Kendall's hand trembled as it hover an inch from Logan's too pale face. His brother was right in front of him...physically. Mentally...mentally he was hundreds of miles away.<p>

"Logan, please," Carlos begged him to come back, even if he wasn't sure Logan could hear him. "Don't leave us."

He just stared straight ahead, fear slowly growing in his eyes. Before it was just a spark of fear before he disappeared, now it was building and more powerful. Not only was Logan gone, but he was getting even further away before their very eyes.

"It's us," James tried. "It's James, Kendall, Carlos, and Katie. It was only Guitar Dude, he didn't mean to scare you. Please. Michael's dead, he's never going to touch you, _hurt_ you again."

Everything was on repeat. Every time there was a light of hope in Logan something happened to make the light be smothered. They just wanted it to stop, they wanted their brother back. They wanted to stop having to bring him from the darkness, they wanted Logan to be Logan again.

And they wanted all of that to happen soon. If not for their sake then for Logan's. If this kept happening then sooner or later they may not be able to bring him back.

Their greatest fear was that this was that time.

Katie tried her hardest not to cry, but a few tears still leaked out. She wiped them away forcefully, she knew enough about life and enough about Logan to know that crying wasn't going to solve anything.

"Logan," she said quietly. She thought, maybe, hearing a female voice would be better than hearing so many male voices that could potentially morph to sounding like Michael's. "You're in the Palm Woods lobby with Kendall, James, Carlos, Guitar Dude, and me, Katie. It's 4:25 in the morning. You were going to make cookies with me tomorrow, well today actually, as a surprise for everyone else. Remember? We talked about it yesterday morning."

A shuddering breath, a blink, and the fear dimming was her only answer, but that was good enough.

Kendall forced himself to step back and let his little sister take control of the situation. Though he didn't like either of those things. His sister having to take control and calling this a "situation". Has it come to point were Logan was nothing more than a situation that needed to be resolved quickly and cleanly?

The mere thought made him sick to his stomach. He shook his head, ridding it before he actually did puke. Logan was his friend, he was more than a situation, he was a person who needed to be helped.

And they were going to help him.

Katie sat next to the traumatised teen, sides barely brushing together. "Remember earlier?" She rambled. "When we were looking at the stars and one of the them looked like a dollar sign, you said I always have money on the mind? You wanna know what's on my mind now?" She didn't get an answer...but she wasn't really expecting one.

Her barrier against the tears crumbled, and she began to cry. She took her brother's hand slowly, gently, and squeezed it. "On my mind is my brother, the only person in the world who makes school fun. Who lets me steal from his plate like he doesn't see me when I know he does. Who tells awesome stories about Carlos getting not-seriously hurt, who adds the blood and the pain in them even when most people see me as a little girl who couldn't handle that."

Logan blinked again, his grip tightening around Katie's fingers, his eyes shifting around like he was trying to see them but couldn't.

"We want you back bro," was all Carlos said.

Suddenly Logan launched himself into Kendall's chest, breathing heavily and trembling so hard even the blond was shaking from the force.

"I-I n-need h-help," he stuttered out, tears running down his cheeks. "I k-keep seeing h-him _e-everywhere, _i-in e-every_one_" Logan squeezed his eyes shut. "I d-don't w-want to b-be s-scared a-anymore."

_We don't want you to be scared anymore either. _

Kendall was weak and pathetic, it all boiled down to not being able to help his friend when he needed it the most...he _should_ be able to help Logan, he _had _to be able to. What kind of brother...leader was he if he couldn't even comfort him properly?

"Do you still wanna make cookies?" Katie asked weakly.

Logan smiled slightly, appreciating her attempts to make things more normal and less tense. "Of course I do," he managed to say without stuttering.

Kendall and James went to either side of him and helped him up, supporting more of his weight than they wanted. Katie shooed Guitar Dude away while Carlos ran ahead to press the elevator call button.

Once upstairs and once Logan was tucked in (courtesy of Mrs. Knight) they reconvened in the living room, cups of coffee (hot chocolate for Carlos and Katie) in hand.

The mama sighed. "Well, I figured this would happen," she said solemnly. "I asked Detective Spencer who she recommended and she gave me the name Alice Tudor, she's apparently the best child psychologist in the business and she's work with the department millions of times for child...victims."

James flinched at the word victim, he was never going to get use to that...But he had to, Logan was always going to be labeled a victim. Maybe, perhaps, later on as a survivor.

"Will Logan talk to her?" Katie asked.

Kendall rubbed his eyes. "He said he needed help. I think he will."

Mrs. Knight checked the time. "I can give her a call in a few hours. Right now, though, everyone needs to get some much needed sleep."

The boys nodded their agreement before quietly heading to Kendall's and Logan's room. Kendall took his bed while James and Carlos moved their sleeping bags so they were closer to Logan's bed instead of the blond's.

There was a slight knock at the door and Katie peeked her head in. "Can I...stay in here?" She asked.

Kendall nodded and let her snuggle up next to him, both keeping their eyes on the sleeping Logan.

"He's going to be okay, right?"

"Of course," Kendall stated firmly. Half-believing himself. "He's going to be perfectly fine."


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer. I own Alice Tudor...sort of.

There's really only a few more chapters. I don't want to drag this out.

This is probably one of the shortest chapters in this story...I'm sorry.

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 17

Mikkal

* * *

><p>Logan's first session with the surprisingly English Alice Tudor didn't go too well. Kendall, James, and Carlos were banned from the session, left to twiddle their thumbs back in the apartment. Mama Knight and Katie made cookies, not the chocolate chips ones that she and Logan were suppose to make, but sugar cookies. Katie didn't want to deny Logan the chocolate chips.<p>

James found himself totally ignoring the television for in favor of staring at the digital clock. While he liked his clock a lot more because there was no second hand to taunt him, he hated it at the same time as it mocked him with every minute Logan wasn't here with them.

How did he know his friend was safe? How did he know this Alice Tudor was who she said she was?

Okay, he had to admit he met her and she seemed perfectly all right. She picked Logan up in her nice, homely jeep with Kelly sitting in the back. Kelly was a good choice, Logan trusted her and she wasn't too overprotective or too harsh. Alice was a fit blond woman with a round face, rose colored cheeks, and friendly blue eyes, the first thing she did was stand three feet from Logan and greet him half-casually with her British ("English," she corrected, "I'm from England.") accent.

But still...the first meeting didn't go so well.

They all jumped when the front door slammed open and Logan stomped in, his face a mask of anger. There wasn't any panic nor fear, helplessness or weakness, it was just pure rage. He ignored them all and walked into the bathroom, that door slamming shut so hard a couple pictures rattled on the wall.

Carlos stared at the closed door, wide eyed and, quite frankly, a little scared. He's never seen Logie that angry before, especially recently.

"What did you do?" Kendall asked hoarsely.

Alice Tudor leaned against the door frame and shrugged. "I made him realize a few things. It's going to take him a while to sort it all out." She glanced at the bathroom before turning to leave. "Give him a little space before you bombard him with questions. He probably won't feel like talking anyway...I guess I'll see you again the day after tomorrow."

James waited until she was gone before he muttered, "I don't like her."

Kendall hummed in agreement, leading the way to the door that separated them from their friend. "Neither do I."

"But she's helping," Carlos pointed out. "This is the first time I've seen Logie with an emotion other than fear, or pain...or panic...or helplessness."

The blond blinked...the youngest made a fair point. He shook his head and knocked lightly on the door. "Logie...you okay in there?"

There was a muffled curse, but they heard a faint, "I'm fine! Just give me a minute!"

They exchanged worried glances, having a hard time holding themselves back from pounding down the door. Logan could take care of himself, he was only in a bathroom with not windows. No one could get to him...plus...they could be interrupting, ahem, _business_.

Logan opened the door, a glare fading in his eyes. "Katie, you wanna make cookies?" He asked, totally avoiding any question that could be asked about his session.

She frowned but nodded. "Yeah. Of course."

Kendall, on the other hand, wasn't going to let that work. "How'd it go?"

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Fine."

"Doesn't seem fine to me."

"But it is fine. Lay off Kendall. These things are suppose to be private," Logan snapped back. He froze, wide eyed before sighing and massaging his temples. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

Kendall took a chance and placed a hand on his shoulder. Everyone held their breath as Logan tensed and flinched, but didn't back away.

Katie's jaw dropped. "Whoa, she's good!"

"Katie!"

"Hey, I'm just saying!" She defended. She put down the bag of chocolate chips she just got out of the fridge and shuffled over to him. "Can...I hug you?" Katie asked shyly.

Logan gave her a small grin. "Since when do _you _have to ask?" He put out his arms invitingly.

He was still _so _thin. "You're going to be okay, right?" She asked, muffled against this skinny chest.

"Yeah," Carlos added. "Is Miss. Tudor...Is Alice really going to help you?"

Logan was silent for a really long time, his hug never loosening. "...I think so. I mean, she really pissed me off today...but I think she's helping."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer. I own Alice Tudor...sort of.

* * *

><p>I'm in love with their new album! My favorites are...Blow Your Speakers Out, Elevate, If I Ruled the World, Intermission (something that got cut from the album), Love Me Love Me, Music Sounds Better With U, Paralyzed, Show Me, SuperStar.<p>

They sound so different from their first album and I'm loving it!

Not my best chapter? Sorry!

This story's coming to a close, just a few more chapters

* * *

><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 18

Mikkal

* * *

><p>"So," Alice started, a bright smile on her face. "Now that you've hopefully stopped cursing me in your head. How do you feel?"<p>

Logan was silent for a moment before he answered: "Angry."

Her smile got a little wider. "Good."

His hands clenched into fists, knuckles protesting the movement like they have every single time he moved. But he wasn't noticing the pain, he was noticing the emotion.

He realized it last night...he realized that he was _angry_.

Not pathetic, not panicky, not depressed, or scared, just pure anger.

She leaned forward, notebook set aside for the moment. "Did you think about what I said?"

_"Did you ever think that you're not all scared? That you've been lying to yourself?"_

_ "W-What do you mean?"_

_ "Logan, I want you to think really hard. I want you to tell me _everything _that happened. I don't care if you don't want to, I'm not coddling you. You're going to tell me whether you like it or not."_

_ "You can't do that!"_

_ "Yes I can, and I will."_

Logan glanced out the window, watching the birds fly and the trees sway. "I did."

He wasn't just scared...he was scared and angry.

"Why are you angry?"

He met her gaze, eyes blazing. "Because of what you did." His own gaze narrowed and turned into a glare. "You forced me to do something I didn't want to...but...it felt good."

"To get it off your chest." Alice nodded. "I know you love your friends and I know they love you, but sometimes the nice and sweet approach won't get you any where."

"You said that maybe I'm not all scared," Logan said. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a flash of cold panic before he pushed it aside. Now was not the time. "What did you mean by that?"

Alice's blue eyes glittered with a secret as she leaned back, humming thoughtfully. "What _did_ I mean by that?" She shrugged. "I don't know, you have an answer for me?"

"I'm still scared," he admitted, arms coming up to wrap around him. He worried his lip between his teeth, earning himself a smile. How many times have the guys tried to get him stop? "But..I was angry, too."

"And? At who?"

"At everyone. At myself. At M-Michael." Damn, he still couldn't get that name out without stuttering or hearing whispers of his demands. "At Kendall...James...Carlos...Cat...At everyone."

It shamed him to list those names (except for one), but it was true.

Alice's lips press together in a straight line. "Why are you angry at your friends?"

It was unjustified anger and he told her so. "It's not fair to them," he said. "I c-called for them all the time...they never came. They never came to help me. I thought they were suppose to be my friends? My _brothers? _Brothers protect each other, and they _failed_ to do that!"

There was a moment of silence after Logan's rant, the only noise was him breathing heavily through his nose as he tried to calm down. A light dawned.

Logan covered his eyes. "It never occurred to me that they _couldn't_. I was too caught up in wanting to get _out_ that I forgot. I guess that anger just stuck and now I can't get rid of it... Oh God, I feel _awful_. It's not fair at all!" He exclaimed, more conviction than before. "It's not their faults!"

Alice smiled. "I think you got rid of that anger at them." She poured him a glass of water and passed it to him. "It's not all gone, but you've realized it and you've accepted it. That's a good start."

Typical therapist words, almost cliché.

"Are you scared of them?"

"W-What?" Logan's head shot up, startled. "How could you think that?"

"You did say you were angry and scared," Alice pointed out. "We got the angry part, where's the scared part?"

Logan avoided looking at her. He looked at the finger paintings from some of her younger clients, he looked at the kitty calendar and counted the days, he even looked outside, but he never looked at her.

"You wanna know what I think?" Alice leaned in really close. "You're not really scared of your friends, you're scared of what they represent...They represent weakness and fear."

"My friends aren't weak," he snapped.

"I never said that." Her voice lowered even more into something gentle. "They're strong and that's what you hate. You're angry that you can't meet up to their levels, you're angry that you have to rely on them to have peace of mind and you're scared that they won't be able to anything for you. You're scared that eventually they're going to get tired of holding your hand and leave you."

Tears pricked his eyes and he suppressed a sob. How is it that there were people who existed who could tell what you're feeling without you saying a single word (or so you thought)? Every doubt he had about his brothers was just laid out in front of him on a dented platter, he couldn't swallow.

"Logan," she said softly, squeezing his hand. "They're never going to leave you. They _want_ you to rely on them, it shows you trust them and it gives them a chance to prove their love for you. And, believe it or not, they _are _doing something for you. You're here, aren't you?"

He looked up, meeting sincere blue, and swallowed thickly. Logan still felt scared, he still felt a little angry, but that wasn't in the forefront of his mind. I guess...it was only gratefulness and love that pushed back the negative.

The only sad part was that it had to be a therapist who pointed it out. Why couldn't he figure out for himself that his friends were never going to leave him?

Alice sighed. "Logan, it's not your fault for not noticing yourself. You've been traumatized, it's hard to get through the mental blocks to see _anything._"

"They've done so much for me," he whispered. "I should at least notice that."

"You have to stop beating yourself up, Logan. Talk to your friends more, not just about what's happened, but your life. You've told them about the closets, but only in vague details." He winced a little at that, mind flashing back. "But how much have you really told them? I know it's hard, the more you tell them the more you think you're going to lose them, but you won't. Don't you think they've proven that?" Alice leaned back in her seat and checked the time.

Logan followed her gaze and saw they were ten minutes over. "Sorry," he mumbled.

She shook her head with a smile. "Nothing to be sorry for, you're actually my favorite." She winked conspiratorially, earning a quiet chuckle from the pale teen. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded. "Yeah, see you, Alice."

* * *

><p>Kendall wasn't sure what he was expecting when Logan came through that door. Tears? A blank look? Anger again? What he didn't expect was for him to walk in calmly, a thoughtful look on his face.<p>

"How'd it go, Logan?" His mom asked.

He flashed her a small smile, a smile that was slowly working it's way to his patent crooked smile as each day passed. "Better than yesterday, that's for sure," he told her.

Logan walked over to the couch and stood there for a moment, debating something, until he finally made up his mind and plopped down right next to Kendall, using the blond's moment of lapse due to surprise to grab the remote from his hands.

They weren't quite touching, Logan hadn't initiated any contact with them unless it was hugs, but Kendall could reach over and either tackle him, hug him, or tickle him at any moment. But he kept his hands to himself.

"Where are Carlos and James?" Logan asked, staring at the tv.

He glanced from him to the tv then back to him. "They went to go grab some stuff from Wawa, said they'd be gone for ten minutes tops. That was...uh," he threw a glance at the clock, "four minutes ago."

Logan hummed his acknowledgment before glancing at his friend sideways. "And I know what you were thinking earlier."

His eyes widened. "You do?"

"Yeah, and if tackle me or tickle me I will scream bloody murder and call Alice down here to kill you for ruining all her hard work." He rolled his eyes. "And then she'll kill _me_ for letting _you_ ruin all her hard work."

Kendall's jaw dropped and he gaped like a fish at the younger teen. Did he say...did he say what Kendall thought he just said. "Are you making _jokes_?"

"Maybe..."

He smiled brightly. "You realized you left out one of my thoughts, right?" Kendall pulled Logan into a hug, practically crushing his brother against his chest. "I was thinking about hugging you too."

"That works," Logan squeaked, fighting down a tiny wave of panic. This was Kendall, his friend, his brother, he wasn't going to hurt him. He trusted the blond, he would never leave Logan behind. He had to remember that.

"We're back!"

The two of them both jumped a foot in the air (maybe Logan a foot and an inch) as James and Carlos burst into the room, bags in hand.

"Oh," Carlos lowered his voice. "Sorry, Logie, we didn't realize you were back."

"It's okay, Carlitos," Logan answered. "I was too busy getting hugged by Kendall to realize six minutes had passed."

James' heart thud at the nickname Logan sprouted out and how calm he sounded. And...did he just say _Kendall hugged him_? Not Logan hugged Kendall? But, actually, Kendall hugged Logan?

Carlos started humming under his breath, dancing a little bit, a wide smile on his face.

It wasn't before long (after he handed out milkshakes) that James joined in, their humming blending together.

_We're halfway there, we're looking good now, nothing's gonna get in the way. We're halfway there and looking back now, I never thought I'd ever say. We're halfway there!_


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I sure do love them

Second to last chapter, for real. Wrap up then epilogue.

This is a conveniently wrapped up wrap up. I hope you enjoy it, I'm trying something a little different. And I know some of the details don't match with the show or reality, but...it's a story so whatever! Haha

It's rather short, but I didn't want to drag it out.

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><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 19

Mikkal

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><p><strong>HOLLYWOOD GAZETTE <strong>

**Big Time Back In Action**

**Sue Ellen-Jasper**

It's been three long months since band member Logan Mitchell of Big Time Rush was kidnapped and rescued. Michael Morgan was the perpetrator, working as a stable hand at the barn Big Time Rush was visiting for a day. We received a report that Morgan had previously known Logan long before but no details were give as to when and how.

I am happy to say that Logan is recovering well, both mentally and physically, and all four boys are ready to start recording their new album. Rumors say it's going to be called either _Elevate _or _All Over Again _and that _Blow Your Speakers Out _(a song cut from the first album _BTR_) was set to be on the new album but will now only be a bonus track on the UK album.

We managed to catch up with Gustavo Rocque and got a few answers to some of our questions.

"Mr. Rocque." This reporter caught the producer during a break. "What can you tell me about how the recent "set back" has affected the album release?"

"It hasn't affected it that much, maybe a day or two behind schedule, but the dogs are more determined than ever to make sure nothing changes. _If_ our release day was going to be, say, November 20, 2011 then we'll just make it November 21 instead. Not much of a difference."

"Has this experience influenced the music in anyway?"

"Yes and no. They're still Big Time Rush, but now they've got a little bit more to their vocals. They're really feelin' it now."

Who's excited for their new album? I know I am!

Many fans cry out injustice as they feel like Morgan got off too easy, unfortunately the police has no say considering Morgan died in an unrelated care accident. But some fans are more angry that the detective working on Logan's case didn't find him sooner.

"I don't care what they think," Detective Juliet Spencer told us. "I worked hard to find Logan Mitchell and, considering the circumstances, he was found pretty quickly..." For more of this interview detailing some of the investigation go to our main site. "He's a strong kid. I'm just glad there isn't no lasting damage."

Not only did we get to speak to Gustavo Rocque, but we also got to talk to Kendall Knight, the band's unofficial official leader.

"Sure I'm happy that we're getting back to BTR and recording music," Kendall said in reply to our question of whether he was happy they were starting back up. "But I'm more happy that Logan is better and joining us. We wouldn't keep going without Logan. It's all of us or none of us. One of us missing is like music missing from a boy band. We wouldn't be a band, we wouldn't be Big Time Rush without everyone there."

Logan Mitchell has been seen around Hollywood every now and then. One sight has him visiting a coffee shop with Kendall and Katie Knight, Kendall's 10 year old sister, and another has him at a cafe across from Rocque Record with the rest of the band. He's recent attended a CD signing at a local mall and BTR is planning to have another one in a week.

Other than the bandages around his fingers and up both his arms (according to information they'll be off in 3 to 4 more weeks) he looks better than ever.

He obviously feels better because Big Time Rush, along with Gustavo Rocque's assistant Kelly Wainwright and counselor Alice Tudor, will be visiting the barn where this whole horror story began. They hope to finish the videos they started and just enjoy the day.

We wish you luck Logan Mitchell and Big Time Rush and we hope you have many years of peace ahead of you. We can't wait until the new album comes out!


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer. I own Alice Tudor...sort of.

Last chapter...Oh my. I'm ready to cry. If I thought ending "Sometimes A Hug Isn't Enough" was sad, then this is just...depressing.

Thank you everyone who reviewed, alerted, and favorite this. When I started I never imagined it to go this far. It became more than what it was going to be and all of you helped with that.

I hope you enjoy this last chapter of "Downhill From Here".

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><p>Downhill From Here<p>

Chapter 20

Epilogue

Mikkal

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><p>He clasped his scarred hands together to keep them from shaking and bit his lip. Logan jumped a little when a finger tapped his cheek and glanced up at James.<p>

"Eventually you're going to bite through your lip," the Pretty Boy reasoned, ignoring the jump (just how Logan asked a few weeks ago).

Logan rolled his eyes good-naturally. "Yeah, the future doctor didn't know that. Thank you for telling him."

His only comeback was to stick out his tongue.

"If you don't want to do this now." Kendall led his horse over to them. "We can always try later."

The younger teen stole a glance at the patiently waiting black horse then shook his head. "No. There's this saying that if you don't get back on a horse right away after falling off you'll never ride again. It's a little different but it still applies. This is a step I have to do."

Kendall nodded, understanding his logic (after all, both Logan and Alice explained to him fro the past three days) and mounted his horse, James not too far behind.

"You can do it, buddy," Carlos cheered him on, a giant smile on his face. "We're right here."

Logan grinned and took a deep breathe, telling himself that nothing was going to happen—that nothing _could _happen. The right but was in use this time, Andres tacking the horse up himself, and the experienced Alice was riding with them for mostly peace of mind.

Nothing could happen.

He grabbed the reins with trembling hands and heaved himself up, feeling light headed as his breathing got faster and shallower.

A hand gripped his, rooting him in the present. "Relax, Logan," Kendall said softly, soothingly. "Everything's going to be okay. Take a deep breath and relax."

Logan did as told and just continued to take deep breathes because, obviously, one deep breath wasn't going to cut it. He gave his friend a shaky smile. "Thanks."

Kendall smiled back. "No problem." And it really wasn't.

He closed his eyes briefly before clucking his horse forward towards Kelly and Alice and the B2 trail they were suppose to take originally so long ago. He could do this.

The rest of the morning was spent with jokes, teasing, and a whole bunch of laughter, Logan relazing more and more as each minute passed.

It wasn't long before they made it to the river. Alice and Logan traded bridles for halters then joined everyone at the flat rock where their simple lunch was set up earlier by Cat. Carlos was already splashing in the water, laughing even as his rolled up jeans got soaked.

"He's going to be complaining about that later, isn't he?" Kelly remarked.

"Yep." Logan grinned and took off his own boots. "But it's fun, so who cares?" He ran into the river, kicking up water and completely soaking Carlos from head to toes.

"_Logan!"_

Kendall and James exchanged smirks and splashed the both of them, earning a playful glare from Logan and sputtering from Carlos (he really needs to learn to keep his mouth closed).

"I'll get you for that!" Logan threatened. He moved to splash them both back but his feet slipped on the rocks and he fell back, landing on his but.

There was a moment of stunned silence, four sets of eyes blown wide, then Logan sudden;y burst out laughing.

"Oh God," he complained, still laughing. "The water's freakin' _cold_. It's going in places I'm pretty sure I don't want it going in."

"You okay?" Kendall asked, worried beyond possible.

Logan smiled at him. "I'm perfectly fine, Ken." His smile turned into a smirk. "What about you?"

Kendall stared at him, eyebrow rising in confusion. "What d you me—Gah!" He got a face full of water, courtesy of a still laughing Logan.

"Payback!"

And then it turned into an all out splash war, the fact that they had to ride back in soaked jeans (it was uncomfortable as dry jeans!) was completely forgotten. Kelly and Alice watched them in amusement, interfering not to interfere with their childish guy time.

A couple minutes later Kelly clapped her hands together to get their attention. "Okay! Lunch time!"

Of course, Carlos was the first to rush over and grab a sandwich, the other three not far behind. All four, exhausted from the rough-hosing (rough because James' hair got ruined), collapsed on the rock, munching on their goodies.

"That was fun," James exclaimed, running a comb through his hair to see if he could get it back to its former glory. "But it did mess up my hair."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Oh jeez." He reached over and ruffled it up, causing it to stand in every direction.

"Not cool, man!"

"I think it's very cool," Logan said. He pointed at Kelly. "She's been recording us since we got here."

_"What?"_

James shot up from his seat. "Kelly, you have to give me that!"

She gave him a weird look. "Why?"

"People can't see my hair like this," he wailed. He lunged for the camera and immediately froze from the look Kelly was giving him.

It said: _You touch this camera and a lot worse things will be happening...like your hair getting _shaved!

Logan laughed again. "Relax, James." He leaned back, resting on his elbows, an easy smile on his face. "Just enjoy the moment."

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><p>Review Tally of the last 19 (up until I posted this chapter) chapters. I love them all! I'm listing everyone into categories. Thank you everyone who read, reviewed, and who thought about reviewing.<p>

Reviewers with more than one review:

CheekyBrunette (16), Anonymous Skrtle (9), kariina55 (7), Glee Clue Rock 1251 (8), squoctobird (5), Logan Henderson is Mine (3), Robin-n-Hoodie (3), Walkin'talkin'ipod (2), Nobody Else Just Me (2), Musiclovesbest (2), Daughter Deception (2), Hey Georgia (2).

Reviewers with one review but still important:

Fetish, SassyBlonde (CheekyBrunette's sister), justbecause-143, LoveBullets, cookielover101, Battery Monster, Samara13, MistyToryRabiyan, ObsessiveBigTimeRushFan, RuneMidnight, inishoreo, ., The Perfectly Crazy, BTR'slovesong, happygirl157

Anonymous:

Me (the flamer), Cargarden10, luvs BTR, Blah, Rarusu aka the Lady Steven, Layla

I love you all (yes, even Me)!


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